My 16 year old DSS has not been getting on with his DM for quite some time (following 4 years alienation from his dad) and 18 months ago his mum put his bed from the shared bedroom away in the loft and he has slept on the sofa/in his sisters bed ever since. His older brother (who he used to share with) has a room to himself. DH has been paying full maintenance via CMS for the eligible kids - fine with him. There is a complete breakdown in communication with the mum since the alienation and DSS has been in school counselling over it all, so we try to avoid conflict.
Naturally having no bed has been very unsettling for DSS and finally in January this year he moved in with us, in his own room, spending one night a week at his mums. This April the CMS annual review has taken place and DH has informed of the change in circumstance, he said on the phone he was open to a 'shared care' assessment for DSS on the basis that he may wish to spend more time over at his mum's going forward, and so didn't intend to try and claim the child benefit (again to minimise conflict as ex would also risk losing tax credits etc).
However the CMS have said today that the ex refutes the fact DSS is living here whatsoever! It has left us rather surprised at such a bald faced lie! The CMS have asked for proof (I.e. Child benefit in DH's name- which we don't have). School records have been changed to DH as the main carer so maybe they would be willing to write a letter.
The only other thing I can think is for DSS himself to write a letter but we suspect that's going to be upsetting for him.
We've been paying for most of DSS needs for some years now, and since he moved in in Jan have bought school shoes, trainers, paid for mum-arranged cosmetic dentist (his mum wriggled out of contribution at the last minute), a private maths tutor after school raised serious concerns to DH about him failing exams, passport renewal, petrol driving to school 10 miles away, all happily paid for because that's what you do for a kid living with you! The CMS reduction would have only been a tiny fraction of what his costs are, and that's fine, but it's the principle.
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Step-parenting
Child maintenance dispute for a 16 year old!
10 replies
zebrano · 13/04/2017 19:15
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