Sorry this is so long, but I really need some advice:
DSD (16) has lived with her dad and me for the past 4 years after a massive fall out with her mum, which resulted in her being "kicked out".
She's been a fairly good girl to live with, mostly pleasant though she can be a bit reclusive, will retreat to her room and she barely speaks to my DD (5) who is her half sister.
She's had a boyfriend for a year, they are the same age and went to school together. I set out some ground rules for him coming round which evolved into him being able to sleep over one night at the weekend so long as all her jobs were done and she was respectful of our house and rules and was considerate to us all, which then morphed into him staying more and more often. Eating food I pay for and using a lot of electricity as they are always home playing xbox or whatever.
Anyway, a few months ago, I heard them having sex . I knew they were sexually active and had made sure she knew the risks and was on the pill. I told her it was unacceptable to be doing it at 8pm just as I had put DD to bed and knowing we were all in the house; it's rude, disrespectful and I told her it wasn't to happen again.
Cut to last night, I'd just bathed DD and put her in bed, I go back into the bathroom to tidy up all the towels when I hear the squeaking floor from her loft bedroom.... I shout up as a warning, asking her if she wants tea or not, she replies no as they are going out, then the squeaking continues so I roar at them to pack it in! Storm downstairs and text her to suggest that if she's going out she'd better go now.
I get no reply, they saunter downstairs and swan out the front door as if nothing had happened.
I text her again to say that her boyfriend is no longer welcome in this house etc. etc. which ends with her offering to move out (she kept putting it on the ends of her texts but I didn't rise to the bait, she's threatened it a few times). We got into a massive argument about her quitting college, being jobless and basically doing NOTHING around the house without having to be asked, numerous times and even then she does a crap job (i.e. doing the dishes in cold water so they need doing again...)
The last text she sent she offered to pack her stuff and move back to her mum's or her boyfriends I just replied saying Fine.
Have I overreacted? I did warn her that I didn't want them having sex while we were home. It surely isn't that hard a rule to follow? I worry about DD walking in on them and I cringe every time I go to the bathroom if he's staying over in case I hear them humping...
Should I stick to my guns or should I back down?
I have posted about her before, there has been a lot that's gone on over the years but I have bent over backwards for the girl, always treated her like my own and gone above and beyond for her time and again. But she consistently throws it back in may face
I feel I've done all I can do and it's time she goes back to her mum.
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Have I Overreacted?
48 replies
BettyBlue007 · 11/04/2017 14:36
OP posts:
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