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Will advice

(20 Posts)
shushnow Tue 04-Apr-17 01:20:50

Second marriage, both have kids. I want to do a will to ensure mine are covered on death. Husband doesn't want to, even though I've mentioned it numerous times. Should I just go ahead and do a single one?

Husband isn't good with money. We both bought a house with similar equity. House held jointly.

I wouldn't want husband to go without but I wouldn't want my dd to lose 100k either.

I think if I discussed with hubbie he would argue that I'm being tight to his kids as they're share would be less (more kids), however I feel I should protect mine.

Help! My gut is to just go ahead.

Babyiwantabump Tue 04-Apr-17 01:35:17

I would just go ahead - this is one of the reasons I don't want to get married - to protect my children's inheritance!

For example - if you die first all goes to him then he could just leave it all to his children ! Or he could remarry and then die and it would all go to his new wife .

It's such a minefield but you need to make sure something is set for your children

Maylani Tue 04-Apr-17 01:38:15

Definitely go ahead!

swingofthings Tue 04-Apr-17 05:58:20

Do go ahead (but let him know you are). Married or not, you are entitled to leave your inheritance to whoever you want.

lastnightiwenttomanderley Tue 04-Apr-17 06:31:01

OP, you say your house is jointly owned. Do you know whether it's as joint tenants or tenants in common? In your scenario, the difference is quote important.

If you are joint tenants then you each own all of the house. If one of you dies, the surviving partner becomes the sole owner automatically. If you're tenants in common then you each own a set share - normally 50-50 but can be any agreed split. This means you can leave 'your' share to your dcs.

This seems obvious for most second marriages but a family friend got burnt very badly - most of the equity had been her mother's but when she died the sf got the lot and then passed it onto his kids with a token sum for friend and her sister.

shushnow Tue 04-Apr-17 06:52:36

Lastnight - I don't know as we've never specified it, so i suspect joint tenants? Does this make a difference? I'm thinking I'd like to leave the house to husband as long as he lives but if he remarries or sells the equity i put it will go to my kids. Is that doeable or do i have to tell him and change something?

user1486915549 Tue 04-Apr-17 06:54:50

You must make a will and the tenants in common issue mentioned above is important. Our wills leave house to surviving partner for their lifetime , then split between respective kids.
Of course his children will get a smaller share, he has more of them !

shushnow Tue 04-Apr-17 07:32:58

To be honest i know if i raise it again it will cause a huge argument as he sees us as a family with equal shares but i just want to make sure my kids get their share - he just won't see this

user1486915549 Tue 04-Apr-17 07:51:18

Perhaps you should point out ( nicely ) that he dies first without a will everything comes to you. So , potentially, his children could get nothing.
( happened to my best friend )

shushnow Tue 04-Apr-17 08:07:29

User - i have, but he trusts me that i wouldn't do that. I'm not so trusting

DrudgeJedd Tue 04-Apr-17 08:15:37

If i were you i would make an appointment with a solicitor and do this for your children. The solicitor can find out how the house is jointly owned and change it if required. You can certainty include a clause in your will that allows your husband to remain living in the family home unless he goes on to co-habit or marry again.

shushnow Tue 04-Apr-17 20:43:33

What would happen if he wanted to move or downsize?

DrudgeJedd Tue 04-Apr-17 22:24:11

My 2dc are beneficiaries of a late family member who left her half of the marital home to them.When her widower sells the house then my dc will receive 25% of the proceeds irrespective of why it is being sold and he must sell if he wants to cohabit or remarry. Your solicitor will advise what is best for your children, taking into account their ages etc.

ImperialBlether Tue 04-Apr-17 22:25:18

There is no way I'd leave my children without my share. Get legal advice, OP.

Shedoesntgetthatfromme Tue 04-Apr-17 22:42:38

You really need to find out how you hold the house as this makes a huge difference. It should have been explained to you by your solicitor when you purchased. If you hold as joint tenants, it doesn't matter if you make a will or not, your 'share' of the house will pass entirely to him if you die and he can do what he wants with it thereafter. If you hold as tenants in common then you both need to specify in your wills what happens to your shares on death, and you would be able to leave it to him for his lifetime and then to your kids if that's what you want. But as suggested above you need to take some advice on it, if only to understand what would actually happen if one of you dies.

ChicRock Tue 04-Apr-17 22:49:43

Husband isn't good with money

Then you would be a fool to delay making a will and protecting your children's inheritance any longer.

Go and see a solicitor, sort out the tenants in common thing on your house, protect your own children.

It's all very well him saying you're one big family, it should all be equal, etc, when he's the one that isn't good with money, what he presumably means is he'll continue being a financial fuckwit and rely on you to sort his children out if and when required.

DrudgeJedd Tue 04-Apr-17 23:07:28

OP if you find that you aren't Tenants in Common on the house deeds your solicitor can change that for you without your husband being involved so you really don't need his input at all to get the house issue sorted to protect your dds inheritance.

justabout2016 Wed 05-Apr-17 02:58:38

Drudge are you sure about that? We are in this exact scenario. Just buying a house with my partner. We each have children, but the deposit / equity is mine. He has none.

We are tenants in common and had to jointly sign a deed of trust that I would get the first 100 grand.

I couldn't do that on my own, he had to sign too (or else what's to stop either of us from claiming we own the lions share?

I don't think OP can do it without her husband's knowledge.

OP - I phrased it along the lines of - 'we will all benefit from the house, but if I die tomorrow / you run off with someone else, I need to know my DCs will get their share.'

Fortunately he got it. Plus the equity is from my settlement with their dad - which partly came from his inheritance from his grandparents - so is rightfully theirs.

It's a bit of a minefield but I agree, the conversation needs to be had.

DrudgeJedd Wed 05-Apr-17 07:46:27

Yes I'm sure just, your arrangement was to protect your share of any proceeds, which was why you were both required to sign the deed of trust. The op's solicitor will be able to arrange severance of the joint tenancy and help her to write a will specifying her dc as beneficiaries of her share of the house. Of course this means that her dh should also do the same to ensure his children inherit his share.
The op can definitely sort this out with her solicitor without her dh needing to bother himself!

shushnow Wed 05-Apr-17 19:09:27

Thanks all, I have made an appt. i am going to be upfront about my wishes and if that doesn't go down well I guess that means something. Equally, I understand the implications if he goes along the same route for me. Would it be possible to specify an amount that goes to mine and an amount that goes to his (ie. What we initially put in) with the proviso the living person can remain in the house. then the remaining goes to the living relative, then if there is anything left at the end it is split between all?

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