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New to mumsnet and don't know where to start!

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Minnie281 Tue 07-Feb-17 21:54:44

Hi smile

I'm new here...Mumsnet always seems to rate highly for advice so thought I'd give it a go!

Bit of background...I'm 28 and in a relationship with a 35 yo. He is the main carer of 3 sons, I have a daughter of my own from previous relationship. On the whole, we have a very open and loving family life.

The real problems are our exes. They are both utterly horrible people. Both are pathological liars; have no real idea what being a parent means; do not provide a penny to support their children and are in and out of relationships like there's no tomorrow. In fact, they would probably be really great for each other!!

I am at my wits end dealing with my daughter's dad, I just cannot speak to him anymore. I have to drive back and forth to his to ensure that she gets to see him (he lost his licence for drink driving last year) and every time I say something along the lines of, "it's not my problem you lost your licence - get on the train, get a taxi, get a lift - you do not provide and you're making it harder for me to by making me spend time, money and petrol on these journeys" (which above all the other stuff is the main ongoing issue) he just talks over me and walks away/hangs up.

My OH has similar issues with his ex in that she now lives 100 miles away (up until beginning of last year she lived about 5 miles away) and doesn't drive so has to make a load of excuses and confusing plans which usually entail him driving the kids somewhere etc. She doesn't even bother to communicate with him anymore. His eldest (13) has a phone so she just texts him all the time, meaning my OH doesn't even get a chance to make proper arrangements with her.

These are, by far, not the biggest issues we have to deal with but at the moment are the ones we just cannot even begin to solve.

Does anyone else have to deal with such idiots?? Any advice for a mum/stepmum who's going prematurely grey??!

IneedmoreLemonPledge Tue 07-Feb-17 22:08:15

I think you draw your line in the sand and stick to it.

You say you'll meet halfway for handover or make one half of the trip. It's up to them to meet halfway or make the other part of the trip from their side.

If they can't even be bothered to do this for their own children, I wouldn't engage. I really wouldn't.

I've been trying to do what's best for the last 2 years with an awkward bloody ex. So I feel your pain. You're is 4x more complicated though!

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