Talk

her dad is always here what do we do about this,

"We" do nothing, her dad stops always being at his girlfriend of 5 months house when he is having contact with his daughter.

She lives with him full time

so why the hell is he always at yours?

Send a friend round dressed as a police officer to interview her. It'll freak her out. Seriously kids can't lie about this sort of stuff... regardless

Seriously kids can't lie about this sort of stuff.

The irony of lying about who you are to teach a child not to lie.

Fwiw it's illegal to impersonate a police officer

Ok crap idea!

some very strange comments. Its only been 5 months how far into the relationship did you actually met her?

Why not consider that maybe shes a bit overwhelmed i'm guessing as she lives with her dad and him being her main parent just him and her she has now coping with additional 4 children and a new partner. She is acting out because of the massive changes in her live, could you maybe back off and allow her to spend time with just her and her father. What is the situation with her mother?

Maybe you should just back off. You've been seeing your boyfriend for 5 months. I'm not sure why he would immediately believe you over his dd. I've no idea why you had to involve children at this stage.

Are you living together? If so, that's a serious rush and her behaviour is probably her ways of expressing her dissatisfaction with the way things have moved so fast. Maybe she is crying to be listened to and feel that the only way she will be is if she makes some serious allegations.

If I were her dad, I would be taking this seriously and try to think why his daughter could be making up something like this. If I were you, I would back off and let him deal with it.

I feel op won't be back.

OneWith, it could either be read as:

Her dad is always (saying) "Here, what do we do about this?"

Or

I can't have hit her because her dad is always here (when I am with her)

Or

Her dad is always here, at my home (this one makes the least sense in the context)

It's a shame in these threads where op fails to see what other posters can blatantly see because they want to prioritise their relationship with their new dp without taking into consideration the thoughts and feelings of this girl involved and even their own children

You don't parent her. You are not her parent, nor a step parent. You are her dads girlfriend, who in a 5 month relationship shouldn't be in any sort of parental role.

Her father needs to deal with this, calmly, without you anywhere around, and ideally you wouldn't be around her much at all.

Jesus, tube been with him 5 months and you have already introduced the children?!

really bad move, far too much too soon! She's acting out because she is massively overwhelmed I should think.

Back off, and stay at your own home when he is having contact with her.

Thankyou for your non judgemental constructive advice!!! My grammar is appalling so I think my original post read slightly wrong as in the he is always here post!! we are neighbours and the children already knew each other before we decided to get together!! I do not believe we have rushed our relationship, I do believe her behaviour is a reaction to change, she is also one of four children however her natural siblings are all 20 and over and no longer live at home!! I agree her dad should parent her, I was looking for advice tips??

you've had excellent advice- bsck off and be far less involved!

Regardless if your neighbours it seems all too much for this girl which is why she is reacting. It's totally different to seeing your neighbour and kids to becoming a blending family and spending together in that capacity she is clearly overwhelmed about the situation.

Yes . My DSS was 10 when I met my DH and he used to tell horrendous stories about what I had done to him and said to him. At first his dad would defend him. That got the desired reaction. One day he told a lie so huge that his dad questioned it and I had witnesses. After that he would question him before exploding at me. He is now an adult and tried it right up until he was in his early twenties but his dad now backs me up and get all three together to discuss the allegation and that's when the lie unravels. Perhaps try that. When she accuses you of something all get together and discuss it and ask question like when did it happen, where etc

Yes . My DSS was 10 when I met my DH and he used to tell horrendous stories about what I had done to him and said to him. At first his dad would defend him. That got the desired reaction. One day he told a lie so huge that his dad questioned it and I had witnesses. After that he would question him before exploding at me. He is now an adult and tried it right up until he was in his early twenties but his dad now backs me up and get all three together to discuss the allegation and that's when the lie unravels. Perhaps try that. When she accuses you of something all get together and discuss it and ask question like when did it happen, where etc

Thankyou underthemoonlight I agree I'm thinking the way forward is we go back to seeing each other is without her involved!! We are very fortunate that we are both self employed and are able to spend days together while children are at school, she is supposed to spend every other weekend at her mums although she sees this as punishment and in 4 years she only manages from Friday at 5 until Saturday 11am so enforcing her to spend the whole weekend with her mum as she is supposed too. will not help her!! She also won't be happy with this as she generally enjoys her time with the kids and as a family I feel this is also ostrisicing her and see this as a punishment too, I am considering what is best for her and dont want to make things worse. I've considered ending things but she does not want that either it's so hard...there are four very happy children just the one is acting up!!

From your response it seems very intense and full on it's only 5 months with all the kids together. Her DF needs to get to the bottom of what her issue is with going to her mothers?

Such a shame that one pesky child is ruining you playing happy families with a boyfriend of 5 months! Keep your children separate from your relationship right now, the proximity of being neighbours rs has made you rush things.

At 5 months my DC didn't even know I was seeing anyone.