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Christmas access just been pulled

(13 Posts)
Blankscreen Tue 20-Dec-16 09:43:12

So my poor dh received a text last night from.ss mother saying shed booked a holiday and is going to be away for boxing day but We.could have ss on 28th.

There is a court order in place which says we should have ss on boxing day this year and it was mutually agreed back in March this year that we would have him 26 to the 3rd January.

Poor dh is working between Christmas ans new year amd we've made plans to see family on boxing day and have a rerun of Christmas day with ss.

Dh is fucking livid as you can imagine. Less than a,weeks notice and she pulls a stunt like this. She offering 28th to 4th.

On every other occasion his mother is pedantic and when being awkward to.dh won't allow any flexibility to thr court order but when it suits her she does what she wants.

FoofLeakage Tue 20-Dec-16 11:45:07

Watching with interest.

Not sure what can be done sad Wishing your DH all the best.

Mybeautifullife1 Tue 20-Dec-16 11:47:17

Can he contact his solicitor for advice?

sunshineintheclouds Tue 20-Dec-16 11:52:28

Still have contact when it is offered but get your dh to text mum stating that she is going against the court order and you are not happy to change at such short notice and when you have made plans with family. If she still refuses have contact when she says to keep your dss happy but take it back to court for breach of order.
This kind of situation drives me mad it is so unfair that the mother thinks she can just get away with it. The laws are being tighten. The court won't do much in the first instance but she will a warning and if she for it again it is classed as emotional abuse.

sunshineintheclouds Tue 20-Dec-16 11:53:26

Make sure you keep the text messages of refusal in case mum denines this in court or claims you agreed.

MycatsaPirate Tue 20-Dec-16 11:53:33

I'm so sorry for him.

My dp has been through the same. He has never had his DD on Christmas Day (she was allowed to visit for 2 hours only in the afternoon to open presents) and Boxing day he always got told they were having a 'family day'. If DP was lucky he was allowed the day after Boxing day.

He hasn't seen her at Christmas for years now. There was no Court order though.

I'd suggest your DH speaks to his solicitor and a letter gets sent out to her reminding her of the Court order and that she's in breach of it.

Lucked Tue 20-Dec-16 11:57:09

What about Christmas Day this year instead of next?

Lunar1 Tue 20-Dec-16 12:01:41

Has your dh got him before Boxing Day?

PigletWasPoohsFriend Tue 20-Dec-16 12:04:18

Keep those text messages.

Emeralda Tue 20-Dec-16 18:47:03

You're not alone. We've had a similiar situation here. Went to court yesterday and no consequences for DSD's DM of the short notice and messing about as she stayed just within the letter of the court order. She has been in breach of it before and there have been no consequences.
I was very angry and upset yesterday. I still am today, but I'm also building a new Christmas plan. I'm also not putting up with this next year.
Any chance DH can change his hols?
flowers OP, it's frustrating as hell.

Blankscreen Tue 20-Dec-16 18:51:54

Sorry for the late replies. We were meant to be having him Friday night as part of the regular court access but that has also been pulled because they're going on holiday.

Thr frustration is it always costs us a fortune to.go.back to.court she refuses mediation and always get away with it.
She is ridiculously obstructive.

So now not seeing him until after Christmas. When dh has to go to work.

sunshineintheclouds Tue 20-Dec-16 19:10:44

Take it back to court, represent yourself.
Write a statement direct to the judge and hand it to the usher before the hearing. Bullet point your concerns. Make it clear her behaviour is having a negative effect on you ss. I.e. lack of routine , uncertainty.
Make sure you completely focuss on what potential harm it is foing to the child.
Finsih with how you want the court to handle it. I.e. count it as a breach of order, change the order more to your favour etc.
If you do it right you will get there in the end.

sunshineintheclouds Tue 20-Dec-16 19:11:33

Sorry about typos on phone

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