Bedroom for dss2

[Workitbabe]

DP and his ds1 live with me and my 2 dd's who I have the majority of the time.

DS2 comes over for 2 nights a month, and in September next year will potentially be heading to Uni.

We have been hunting high and low for a new house which we have now found, and I feel a bit aggrieved that the dining room will be used as a bedroom for ds2 who as I said above is here 2 nights a month.

I want to propose that this room can also house a computer desk and chair, the PC and printer, and my piano, as to be honest there is nowhere else to put them, and I think having a room solely as a bedroom is ridiculous.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this before I broach it with dp.

[moonoverthewater]

I think that is more than reasonable if he is only there 2 days a month.
When I went to uni I wouldn't have been bothered if my parents had used my room as something else for their needs, I would be grateful to have somewhere to stay when I came home!
There is no point having a room that will only be used twice a month when it could be used as a multi functioning room. I'd like to think your DP would be understanding.

[Evergreen777]

We have a downstairs room that houses a desk, my laptop, piano and TV/ games console. Also a sofabed used by student DSD when she comes during the holidays. When she's here I remove my laptop, and the console goes up to DS's bedroom and it's then her bedroom. The rest of the time it's our room and DSD has a small cupboard to leave her stuff in. Seems a reasonable compromise to me and DSD seems ok about it (she did used to have her own room when younger but that meant DS and DSS had to share so didn't seem fair when she went to uni. She understood that.)

[MagicMary1]

What about your two daughters sharing and your son having his own room. He should be made to feel welcome and part of the family.

[flippychick]

Agree that he should be made to feel welcome, but SS is currently only there 2 days a month (is that 1 night?) which will likely become even less frequent in 9 months.

I'm not sure how old the OPs daughters are, but surely asking them to share when a room is then sitting empty 93% of the time is not the answer.

Is there a reason DS1 & DS2 can't share for 2 days a month?

Have you spoken to SS (who after all is almost an adult) to see what he thinks?

[Bananasinpyjamas1]

As he's an almost adult and only 2 days a month, then it sounds reasonable that he just kip up, in DS or living room. Prepare him for student life!

Is your DH wanting to feel like all if his 'sons' live there? My DP has this. DSD1 left for her mums at 18, yet we still had to 'keep' her room - for 1.5 years! Despite it being clearly a bigger better room and my DS was dying to have it. I know that broaching the 'clear out' was like starting nuclear war so chose it as a battle not to fight.

[MumOfTwoMasterOfNone]

I think using it solely as a bedroom is ridiculous. As soon as I went to uni, my sister moved into my room and I was demoted to the small computer/junk room that her bedroom had been turned into. I don't think they wanted me back

[Workitbabe]

Thanks for your replies. My dd's are 9 and 13 and given they are here on average 4/5 nights a week, I don't think it's fair they share, plus given the age difference my 13 year old is self conscious and needs her space.

DSD2 is here 2 Saturday nights a month. DP wants him to have his own space which is fine, but I don't think it's too much to ask to house the PC, filing cabinet, printer and piano in there. I am not suggesting anyone else sleeps in there.

He cannot share with dsd1 as he has a double bed and no space for anything else.

[Workitbabe]

Broached the subject. Dp going to think about it. Not overly pleased with his response.

[Bananasinpyjamas1]

No I wouldn't be pleased by your DPs response either, but I'd give your DP space in order for him to realise how mad this is. That he didn't get really annoyed I think means that he will not insist on this. So if I were I'd relax now.

He wants to feel that he was 'providing' for HIS children completely. My DP also did a lot of this 'keeping empty rooms' for HIS children, even at one point suggesting that my son, teenager, share with our baby, even though they were both full time in our house - rather than admit that the weekend only kids share a room. He wouldn't admit it, but he wanted to put his kids first, and did not want to feel that he was providing for another mans child before his own. That was the heart of it, however mad. Works out in the end though as it is just so evident!