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Should I be annoyed?

(8 Posts)
HannerSpanner90 Mon 19-Dec-16 20:33:44

I have been with my other half for about a year and he has 2 girls and I a son. We have recently moved in together (about 3 months officially). I have met his friends and their other halves and children, this evening a friend of his turned up with Christmas presents for his girls, nothing for my son. Whilst completing our xmas shopping I asked him if buys for his friends kids and he said no, never has, so me returning the favour wasn't really a 'thing' Should I be annoyed that my son was excluded?

Underthemoonlight Tue 20-Dec-16 22:47:30

It sounds very fast op in last than a year you've moved in together. They don't really have to buy your son anything they don't know him and only met you. I would imagine them have some level of interaction and relationship with your dh daughters which is why they got them a gift, it wouldn't occur to me to give my friends partners children something when I've know my friends children along time

neonrainbow Tue 20-Dec-16 22:51:17

Well if they don't know him why would they buy a present for him?

NewIdeasToday Tue 20-Dec-16 22:54:18

He isn't actually your 'other half'. He's an adult with a family and many years of history behind him. You can't expect a present for your son from someone just because they've known your partner for years.

Evergreen777 Wed 21-Dec-16 09:11:44

We tend to find some people include the new step children of their friend/family member and others don't. Depends on whether they've meet them and how generous they are. I wouldn't get too upset by it - there's a lot of things are hard to figure out with a newly blended family and people aren't always agreed on when to treat you as one unit vs two. And nothing your OH could really have done about his friend's choices.

We've been married 2 years (and living together 4) and some people still only buy for just my kids or just DH's kids.

bluebell9 Wed 21-Dec-16 21:29:32

I think it depends on how well people know the kids.

For me, I have 2 DSC. My sister and parents have spent quite a bit of time with them but my brother and his wife have only met them a couple of times at family occasions. My sister and parents are buying presents for my DSC but my brother isn't.

I'm not offended, presents aren't to be expected and my brother hasn't had much to do with the kids. And to be honest, he probably hasn't thought about it!

Bananasinpyjamas1 Thu 22-Dec-16 00:07:32

I think it just takes time OP. I was a bit offended, for the first year my DS got no cards, no presents from DPs extended family, but step children all did. We were not mentioned on cards etc. I think it took probably two years, me moved in and pregnant for things to get going! Although now it seems to have reverted back again... !

So no don't be offended. In the grand scheme of step parenting it is small potatoes!

harderandharder2breathe Mon 26-Dec-16 13:50:36

A year really isn't that long.

The friends barely know you or your son, while a token box of malteasers would've been nice, they're not obliged to get anytgung

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