What to do? I'm pregnant..(4 Posts)
I am 41ys and my partner 43 and been together 1 year. We have four boys (2 each) and have been gradually blending our two families. We don't live together yet but are in the process of selling houses so we can buy a new house for us all.
I have just found out I'm 5 weeks pregnant...
My partner was VERY keen a few months ago as he said it would be ours and something that bonded our love. I was always a bit unsure, mainly because we have everything other weekend and every Tuesday night to ourselves as our children are with their other parents which gives us a nice break and time to be "us". We've always said how lucky we are (although we miss our children greatly) that we get time off if you like and time to be adults and a couple and how important that was for us.
Obviously if we had a baby, that time would be gone for 15 or so years.
Also what if we still haven't sold the house? My eldest Son has ADHD and quite positively so does my stepson... would we have to stretch ourselves so thin between 5 children and each other that it would break us?
So now we've found out I'm pregnant, my partner has seen the reality of it and isn't so keen. I'm the same but also finding the thought of not keeping it very hard.
I wondered if anyone has had experience of a be baby within a stepfamily and whether it worked or was too hard... or any advice actually..
It's so soon. Your kids will just be getting used to being blended and moving. But you're pregnant now and it's done, so congratulations. I am the mother so I don't have the step child experience but I have DD1 from a previous relationship. DD2 definitely did cement our relationship and we've never been better.
I had 2 boys and a girl DH had a boy with serve autism and a girl. We didn't think we could do it i was 40 so higher risk of the child being disabled so we never tried for a baby.
2 years later felt something was missing had no idea what we just felt a bit empty Even with 5 kids! One night my friend needed a emergency babysitter so we took her 10 month old my autistic DSS was amazing with her and we were so happy we took the baby a day a week. Then we adopted a little girl from China and its worked out great!
I disagree. It's so soon, your dcs are just getting used to each other. Step families are hard, there are all kinds of complex and complicated needs to be met.
One of the ways to deal with those needs is to have a strong relationship with your DH . Babies don't often help on that front . Years of focus on another small human , which inevitably takes focus away from each other will not make this easier. You currently have the time to devote to each other. That will go. However only you can make this decision. Personally, as a mother of 3 scs & 4 dsc, and knowing how bloody hard it can be , no way would I bring another into the mix.
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