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First baby

(14 Posts)
mintymonty Wed 16-Nov-16 11:10:10

Looking for people's experiences of having their first baby with a man who already has children?

Did you feel cheated out of the whole "first baby together" experience? Or is it still just as exciting and amazing

Hoping to hear positive stories....

Pooky77 Wed 16-Nov-16 18:43:35

Expecting my first baby in Feb DH has a daughter already who is 11.

I don't think I have ever felt cheated out of this not being a first for him mainly because we were both in our mid thirties when we met therefore most firsts had already been done on both sides.

Mostly I'm just happy that I'm having my first baby with the man I love who I'm totally committed to. Added to which our baby is Ivf so was very much wanted so can't imagine feeling anything other than joy.

mintymonty Wed 16-Nov-16 19:30:40

That's so lovely. Congratulations
Thank you for replying flowers all the best with the pregnancy!

Pooky77 Wed 16-Nov-16 20:17:00

Thank you all the best for yours too

Thatwaslulu Wed 16-Nov-16 20:22:13

I didn't feel like he was any less excited - in fact his sons were teens and he said he never imagined at his time of life he would meet the love of his life and be starting again with a new baby. I know it sounds cheesy and corny but he meant it, and it was lovely knowing our son would have older brothers who doted on him. Also I found it was reassuring with him b3ing a single dad, as I knew he would be a good dad and I had so much practical support throughout the pregnancy as he knew what to expect. Good luck with your baby!

Losingtheplod Wed 16-Nov-16 20:24:48

It didn't make any difference to me. It was still my first baby. It was quite nice that DH had some idea what he was doing TBH, when I was clueless and terrified with a newborn.

mintymonty Wed 16-Nov-16 21:57:30

Thank you all so much x

AddictedtoGreys Fri 18-Nov-16 17:57:13

I know exactly how you feel. I was concerned Dh wouldn't care about the little things I did but he was just as excited and involved as I was. I have just had DC2 and I was just as excited this time so I can totally understand how he wasn't any less excited when I was first pregnant! If that makes sense grin don't worry, each child and pregnancy is different, and it's still his first child with you.

LBOCS2 Fri 18-Nov-16 18:01:21

It didn't make any difference to me. It was still my first baby. It was quite nice that DH had some idea what he was doing TBH, when I was clueless and terrified with a newborn.

This! I'd only ever changed one nappy before I had DD1 and had basically no experience of babies. It was helpful that he did.

I had a couple of things I wanted to buy myself (I really wanted to choose my own cot, for example, even though we still had DSS's) and he understood that but actually it was all fine. And he has said since that having children with me was a completely different experience than with his ex which I think made it easier for him too.

mintymonty Fri 18-Nov-16 18:12:34

I'm so grateful for you all sharing your experiences - makes me feel much more optimistic smilestar

lotsoffreckles Fri 18-Nov-16 21:30:43

I'm due my 1st bub in March and my DH words to me were "this is OUR 1st baby"

He may have done it twice already but he is super excited, NCT, baby show the lot and I love him for it. I was worried too but didn't need to be xx

Feelingthelove Fri 18-Nov-16 22:27:22

We have our first baby together this July and can completely relate to your concerns however there is no need to be. Like previous posters it's your first baby together.

I was worried that my DP would be a bit 'been there and done it' and I would feel a bit inadequate (probably a bit due to pregnancy hormones too :-) ) however DP had forgotten everything about babies after 12 years anyway so it was like a first baby again anyway :-)

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone Thu 24-Nov-16 09:07:14

I think it depends on the man you're having a child with. I'll be honest, my experience hasn't been as positive as others so I won't give you details as it's not what you are asking for. I would say in general, you should be very careful about who you have a child with.

user1474439326 Fri 30-Dec-16 18:18:56

I was worried but if anything I think he likes it because we are married and secure which he never was with his ex- I felt just like you but he had forgotten everything anyway. A bit annoying when he would recite a story of his exes c section recovery but i just ignore 😂 good luck xx

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