How can I help my DSC recover from emotionally trauma?

(6 Posts)
Asteria36 Sun 13-Nov-16 23:20:38

Dss (8) and dsd (11) recently came to live with us. The events leading up to this were pretty traumatic and we had already been to court regarding emotional abuse concerns that we had about their mother and her partner. Both children are very traumatised as although their arrival with us was their mother's wish, and their continued stay was also at her request, she has now (5 months and a change of schools later) decided that she wants them back and has waged an emotional war on us all. The DSC have gone from being very settled to being anxious, upset and insecure, especially after contact with their mother.
The court has allowed us residency until a full investigation has been undertaken, but Dh and I are struggling to help the DSC with the clear trauma of the situation. We have various support networks set in place from the DSC within their schools and they are both awaiting appointments with CAHMS (I think that is what it is called!). What we really need is guidance for the most supportive way that we can help the DSC process their emotions in more productive way than they currently are - which is mostly shut down, baby voices or screaming tantrums and anxiety attacks.
I have trawled the Internet for advice but it is very overwhelming and difficult to decifer what will help the most. Any advice or pointers towards really helpful websites/services would be massively appreciated.

Asteria36 Sun 13-Nov-16 23:22:32

Oh lord - autocorrect made me look illiterate! Must proofread in future!

chocoraisin Mon 14-Nov-16 01:42:56

Try hand in hand parenting for courses on handling anxiety, anger and fear. They have a very nurturing approach and the founder of their programs also just published a book called Listen which you might find helpful right now. good luck

Asteria36 Mon 14-Nov-16 07:17:49

Thank you- I will look that out today.

Emeralda Wed 16-Nov-16 07:48:53

flowers to you, OP, it sounds hard. Have you considered counselling? Has their school got a counsellor or can the GP point you in the direction of a lical counselling service? Counselling might be helpful for you too. You need all the support you can get at the moment, to enable you to support them.

Asteria36 Wed 16-Nov-16 08:17:30

They are both awaiting formal out of school counselling and have time with someone at school. The trouble is that their mother coaches them on what they can and cannot say which is making this process tricky. Both are of the impression that their teachers will be angry with them if they say anything bad about their contact visits. Children services have recommended supervised visits, but they may not be put in place until our next hearing in the new year. We are having a full section 7 done, but in the meantime their mother is playing a cruel emotional tug of war game with them.

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