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Step kids calling you mum by accident - how to deal with it?

(30 Posts)
SteppingOnToes Sun 13-Nov-16 15:10:43

It's not long since I have met my partner's kids and things have been going smoothly so far - they seem relaxed with me and are nice kids. Yesterday we were had finished colouring in pet rocks and shoe boxes for them to live in, we were sat on the sofa watching cat videos with his 5yo son snuggled up to me. He asked me a question and accidentally called me mum by mistake. He didn't seem to realise he said it (and neither did his 10yo DD who was sat on the other side of me) and I didn't say anything - I didn't want to make a big deal about it and potentially upset and embarrass him (we've all been there when we've called teacher mum/dad and it's mortifying).

But the question is - if it happens again WTF do I do?!?!

Disclaimer - I don't have children and have never dated anyone with kids either so this is all new to me...

FeckTheMagicDragon Sun 13-Nov-16 15:16:15

its lovely that he's relaxed enough with you to make that misstep. Say nothing - but talk to your partner. Its early days, but a lot will depend on the relationship between up OH and his ex, as well as how the relationship develops between you and the kids.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sun 13-Nov-16 15:18:50

Don't say anything, teachers get called mum by mistake toogrin

SteppingOnToes Sun 13-Nov-16 15:51:20

Feck - I'm so relieved that his kids are relaxed around me - my biggest worry was that it would be forced and awkward but it's been the opposite. I'm going to my partner later. I'm having lunch tomorrow with his ex to meet her and hopefully sort out any worries that she or I have but I don't think it would be right to mention it to her.

DD - that was my gut instinct. I didn't want to say anything for fear of him being mortified and the fact that neither him or his sister realised was probably for the best.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sun 13-Nov-16 15:54:13

Be flattered, I've had my step mum since I was 5 and there's no WAY in 40 years I've ever accidently called her mum wink

SteppingOnToes Sun 13-Nov-16 15:57:04

DD - thankyou for being so kind.

My biggest worry was that I would dislike his kids but they're absolutely wonderful smile

Now my biggest worry is that tomorrow is going to all go tits up eek

BeattieBowRisenFromTheDead Sun 13-Nov-16 15:57:39

I'm with DD, my first thought was of teachers getting called 'mum' at school.

It's just a slip of the tongue I think. Take it as a compliment that he feels comfortable with you, but I wouldn't assume that he's getting you mixed up!

PrincessHairyMclary Sun 13-Nov-16 16:01:17

I get called "mum" or even "sir" at school all the time it's not an issue as others have said ignore if it's just a mistake. If he. Starts doing it frequently maybe work with him to think of another nickname for you.

DD often comes back from her Dads and calls her Grandad and uncle "Dad" by mistake too

ChocolateForAll Sun 13-Nov-16 16:07:57

I'd also take it as a compliment. I don't think any further action is required.

SteppingOnToes Sun 13-Nov-16 16:13:55

Beatie - I didn't think he was getting me mixed up. I don't know why you would even suggest as such. It's difficult for me and I find it a little cruel that you are taking the mick/suggesting that I'm an idiot sad

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sun 13-Nov-16 16:15:32

Beatie wasn't suggesting that at ALL, where on earth did you get that from OP?confused

SteppingOnToes Sun 13-Nov-16 16:21:00

I get that from the last line of the post - Beattie's own words

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sun 13-Nov-16 16:29:37

You're reading it wrong OP. Beatie is saying don't worry about him calling you mum as there's no way he'd get you mixed up with his mum so it's not an issue.

Sorry Beatie, I'm speaking for youblush

SteppingOnToes Sun 13-Nov-16 16:36:39

DD - but that's implying I'm a total idiot. Why would I even think he would? All I asked was how to handle it if it happens again.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sun 13-Nov-16 16:39:25

Oh good grief, it's not. Best of luck with everything.

Smidge001 Sun 13-Nov-16 16:47:23

Blimey. Beattie wasn't implying you were an idiot at all. hmm I read it as completely kind and friendly advice. Don't know how you can read anything bad into it at all.

SandyY2K Sun 13-Nov-16 16:51:29

Say nothing even if it happens again. My nieces have called me mum, although they realised and said oh I mean Auntie Sandy.

I think if you were being addressed that way .i.e. hello mum , that would be different.

Marshmallowsandcream Sun 13-Nov-16 16:58:23

It's a slip of the tongue, don't worry. And he must have felt relaxed around you to do that. I don't think there's any need to do or say anything to anyone.

My dd called me "Miss" once. I told her there was no need, that "mum" would do but that she still needed to put her hand up if she wanted to ask something grin.

SteppingOnToes Sun 13-Nov-16 17:15:08

Ha ha Marshmellow - why is there no like button lol

bluebell9 Mon 14-Nov-16 13:16:39

Both my DSC have called me Mum by accident. I don't say anything unless they realise and they we just laugh it off.
I wouldn't worry about it too much.

My niece also calls me Mum sometimes, she laughs it off too.

euromum Mon 14-Nov-16 13:58:39

My daughter once called me her teacher's name by accident - I was quite pleased to know she obviously likes her a lot, but a bit confused about what she thought of me as a mum!

OzzieFem Mon 14-Nov-16 17:56:40

My niece when still quite young called me mum in front of hers, (my sister). Instead of thinking that it was nice that she felt comfortable with me, or her daughter just thought of most females as a 'mum' figure, she got immediately uptight. She grabbed her daughter up from the carpet where we were sitting, hugged her to her chest saying loudly "She's not your mum I am". The look I got! I had to back right off after that.

Mums can be funny and possessive, so I would just leave it there, say nothing, and ignore it if it happens again.

SteppingOnToes Mon 14-Nov-16 18:43:24

Met his ex for lunch today. Went really well and ended up a 3 hour natter smile she's really nice and one of the things she said to me was that the kids are quite cuddly and not to feel awkward if they do want to sit on my knee and stuff as she doesn't have an issue with it. She said the kids have talked about me a lot and she's glad that I interact with them and they are comfortable with me smile

OzzieFem Tue 15-Nov-16 05:24:59

OP - That's really nice, she sounds like a very sensible woman who has her kids best interests at heart.

MrsTrentReznor Tue 15-Nov-16 05:35:19

Cub leader here. I've been called Mum! grin
It's because they are relaxed around you I reckon.

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