It is getting to that time of year again when the inevitable row over Christmas occurs. I don't think we are being unreasonable in asking that we alternate years so that my dscs get to see their dad on Christmas morning and share it with their sister. Their mum on the other hand seems to think that we are being utterly unreasonable and insists that they always spend the whole of Christmas with her or at best will compromise on them coming after lunch.
None of my family live near us - I would like for us to have a proper big family Christmas that for once includes my dsc. Does this make me a bitch?! Dp agrees, he is sick of being held to ransom by her but also doesn't want a row with her.
Christmas falls on their weekend with us. She normally refuses to be flexible if we need to amend contact for any reason spouting off about the importance of routine but then expects us to rearrange our whole lives when she doesn't want the kids around.
I normally stay out of it unless it is me expected to be available - like last year when I was away and I got told that I had to cancel my plans because she hadn't arranged child care for her time during the school holidays and as I was off work they were my problem.
Before anyone flames me - I have spent years trying to keep the peace and over the last 2 years have given up. She has lied to us and about us, she has lied to the children about where she is, disappeared for hours on end after dropping them with me for a "personal" doctor's appointment, called dp all names under the sun when he has refused to alter contact because we were away at a wedding (no kids not on our weekend etc) because her dp other man was tires and wanted a weekend without the kids there.
But I am sick of seeing the kids so hurt by this same bloody row over Christmas. She promised them last year they could have Christmas Eve with us and go home for lunch and then at the very last moment she pulled the plug. Everything is about her and not the kids and I am at the end of tether for ideas on how to manage the kids expectations but also support dp on fighting for what is fair.
Any ideas? Thoughts? How do other people handle it?
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Step-parenting
Christmas arguments again
wheresthel1ght · 16/10/2016 16:12
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