Hi all, I'm not a step parent but needed the advice of some!
EXP has been with his new DP (for the sake of this we'll call her Claire) For a while now and they moved in together a few months back. He has form for dumping DS on whoever he can from his family and appears to now be using Claire as a live in babysitter. Claire is wonderful with DS and much better than EXP IMO - she does his homework and reading with him, takes him on days out, bakes with him etc etc, she's the best you could hope for in someone in a step parenting role to your child.
DS has been quite upset recently, he's only 6 and has always hero worshipped his dad but he's getting old enough to realise that he lets him down a lot and doesn't make a lot of time for him. He gets on well with Claire but she appears to be taking the brunt of this, just minor things like him constantly 'forgetting' to say please and thank you and being generally just a little bit difficult.
I explained to him how lucky he was to have somebody like Claire who was willing to do so much for him. She doesn't have children and I appreciate that this must be a lot for her to take on. I told DS that if he is upset about his dad always being at work/the gym/out with friends when he's said he'll have DS (and leaving DS with Claire) he needs to raise that with him, not be rude to Claire. I have raised it myself many times in the past but EXP just flies off the handle telling me that I'm clearly bitter and it's none of my business
In typical 6 year old style, DS raised it by saying "mum says I need to tell you I want to see you more, not just be left with Claire" which obviously went down like a lead balloon.
Claire is now quite frosty at pick up/drop offs and has text to say she'll be doing the next pick off and she hopes it's not a problem.
I replied saying of course it wasn't and went on to discuss details but I don't know whether to have a word with her and make it crystal clear how good I think she is with DS and how much I appreciate it or whether she'd see that as an intrusion and I should just leave it?
Any advice would be welcome, sorry it's so long!
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Step-parenting
Need some advice
18 replies
Cakedoesntjudge · 16/10/2016 08:30
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