Honestly not sure how to think about this issue so would appreciate any thoughts and guidance from others in similar situations (long time lurker but not posted before)
Been with DH for 6ish years, married for 2, new baby on the way in a couple of months. DSD is about to turn 10, I've known her since she was 4/5, we have a wonderful relationship and I love the bones of her. Things are pretty harmonious between us and her mum (DSD was the result of a one night stand so there was never any real romantic relationship there) and we manage childcare between us but DSD spends the majority of her time at her mums.
Since our baby news I'm being asked/expected to take on more of the childcare for DSD (I've had a lot of leave to use up so have done most of summer hols for example and am down to do holidays for the year I'm off work) which I'm more than happy to do - I love spending time with her and think it will be lovely for her to spend time with her new sibling.
On top of this DH and ex are now discussing a new arrangement whereby we would have DSD mon/tue/fri/sat/sun one week and mon/tue/fri the alternate week as well as me doing the majority of the holidays (DH works so most of the childcare will be down to me while she is with us). On top of this I'm the only car driver amongst us and DSD lives around a half hour drive from our place which is also where her school is so I'll be doing that run every school day that she is with us plus for all drop offs/pick ups from her mums.
Having worked out the numbers this looks to me like DSD will now be with us over half of the nights in the next year and so I'm wondering what should happen to maintainance payments in this case? I really don't want to upset the applecart but am already slightly anxious about how I'm going to manage for cash on my year off work without all the extra petrol/food/washing/treats etc that having DSD with us will entail.
Haven't discussed with DH yet but wanted to get some thoughts from you guys?
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Overnights and maintainance
65 replies
Starla268 · 17/09/2016 18:08
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