I have two boys with DP who are 3 and 1 and DP has two boys who are 15 and 16. They live with us full time and have done since I have been with DP (over 5 years now). I am really struggling with the behaviour of the eldest and I am not sure how to cope. Without wanting to drip feed DP is a lot softer on the 16yo than he is the 15yo and I think this is because the 16yo was seriously ill when he was younger - he is fine now though.
He can be so vile. I feel awful saying this but he really can be so nasty. Yesterday night he was messing around with his brother in their room after 11pm. DP told them both to stop as they had school and would wake the babies and were disturbing us. They didn't, and next thing I know eldest had broken his bed (snapped four of the slats that hold the mattress so it won't stay in the frame now).
Things then escalated and he and DP ended up arguing and step son put his fist through his bedroom door. It eventually calmed down and they both went to bed (finally at about 1:30am).
Roll on this afternoon before DP is home from work and step son had left a load of stuff lying around. I asked him to tidy up and he started getting cheeky and saying no, why should he etc. It quickly escalated, as it does when he is involved. I went to leave the room as it was clear he was not going to do what I asked and he called my name. I turned around and he spat in my face. It then all started again and in the end DSS2 had to drag him up to his room to calm down.
DP got home and I could here him screaming from his room 'she's a bitch, she started it' referring to me. DP has had to take him out as the situation was just ridiculous. He is still not back.
I don't know what to do. His mood just makes the house really unpleasant and difficult to be in. I don't like spending time with him (which tbh he probably picks up on), but what am I supposed to do?
I know people say you know what you are getting into with someone with kids but I did not expect to be treated like this in my own home!
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Step-parenting
Struggling with DP's son
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HanShotFirst1 · 31/08/2016 22:08
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