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Step-parenting

Do we need a bigger house?

17 replies

Thymewarp · 01/06/2016 23:05

I have two DSC (boy 13, girl 9), DS4 and one on the way. We think the baby is a girl. Currently we live in a 4 bed terrace in london with DSC sharing a room and DS in the smallest bedroom. The other bedroom is used as an office as both DH and I work from home extensively. We have considered a loft conversion to put the office in there but money is tight and ultimately I wonder if we will need another bedroom anyway as DSC won't want to share? Do others have DSC of mixed genders sharing? Now that DSS is 13 I'm wondering if it's really appropriate?

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Greenyogagirl · 01/06/2016 23:07

How often do they stay?
I don't think you 'need' a bigger house you might 'want' a bigger house X

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Thymewarp · 01/06/2016 23:13

They stay EOW and half the holidays. I don't want a bigger house. The only way we could afford bigger would be to move out of London which neither DH nor I want to do but we don't want the bedrooms to become an issue.

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TrixieBernadette · 01/06/2016 23:24

Is your room big enough to be a bedroom/office? You wouldn't need to be sleeping and working at the same time. Then your two smallest share the big bedroom and the DSC have a small room each? By the time your two need their own rooms, the eldest should be more likely to be not staying as much so you can move round again.

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MrsSpecter · 01/06/2016 23:26

Is there nowhere downstairs you can have your office?

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MyKingdomForBrie · 01/06/2016 23:29

Move the office! DSC are getting too old to share. Can you maybe make the office also a bedroom for the eow that dsc are there?

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MyKingdomForBrie · 01/06/2016 23:31

Or make a girls bedroom and a boys bedroom..

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Thymewarp · 01/06/2016 23:39

The office setup is huge because DH needs two big screens for what he does and honking great desktop computer to run the software so it won't easily tuck in anywhere. Never mind my computer and files/ scanner etc. Downstairs is an open plan kitchen/diner/lounge and a separate reception room but that is right at the front of the house and currently has the TV in it. DH tends to be on conference calls through the day and keeping the kids from making too much noise downstairs would be a nightmare.

We could put the baby in with DS once she sleeps through but for DS that wasn't until 2.5 years. Can I get 2.5 years out of the eldest sharing? They asked to share when we first moved in but that was 5 years ago. So far they are happy to keep sharing. DH reckons to not worry about it until they complain but I'd rather be proactive and have our space sorted. I really don't want to shove one of them in with the office. They have a huge amount of toys etc and their room was decorated for them. It would seem a bit like treating them like a guest to make them sleep in the office. But we could always make that their choice I suppose.

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Thymewarp · 01/06/2016 23:41

Is a girls/boys room really going to work with our age gaps ? I'll have a 13 year old and a 4 year old boy sharing and a 9 year old girl in with a baby?

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BubsAndMoo · 01/06/2016 23:43

Is there space for a garden building to move the office to?

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Greenyogagirl · 01/06/2016 23:55

Could the reception room be turned into a bedroom?

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DontMindTheStep · 02/06/2016 07:44

My boys are easy on these things. Are yours? Could the eldest have a single top bunk in with his 9 year old sis (she in a double under bunk) but also eldest be told he can sleep in the living room if he wants space, or to stay up later...? You and hubby then keep your office, but compromise with only having kichen diner for your late evenings when boy is staying over, unless he has to share one night cos you need front room. His clothes and kit stays tidily in bedroom upstairs. (Upper bunk gives privacy also).

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Thymewarp · 02/06/2016 10:00

The garden is really small but maybe that's our easiest option. The DSC are currently in this bunk bed www.woodland-bunkbeds.com/bunkbed-calgary.html and the 13 year old doesn't want to give it up! I thought by now he wouldn't care and would prefer privacy. Surely though in a year or two he will feel differently. The other option is to covert the loft and put all three older one in that one huge room. The eldest boy would get a loft space to himself which might provide enough privacy and DSD 9 can have the bunk beds with DS4 in his own bed. They all get on really well and enjoy each other but I keep thinking the eldest boy is going to want away from the younger ones soon although maybe not since it's only EOW?

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DontMindTheStep · 02/06/2016 10:35

Cool bed!!

Yes my experience is they like their own space eventually...and that loft conversions make money. I find girls fussier than boys..it might be your step daughter complains first (or has a reaction new baby and the space they take...).

You've got a while and can stay in the status quo. Baby in with you for a while. Keeping things sweet for all to welcome the new baby happily.

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EssentialHummus · 02/06/2016 10:45

I think saving for a loft conversion or sticking a proper plumbed-in shed in the garden (for working in) are the best options, in that order.

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Wdigin2this · 05/06/2016 09:33

I think putting every spare penny into a loft conversion is your best bet. You could maybe get two medium size bedrooms, plus a shared bathroom out of that!

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HeddaGarbled · 05/06/2016 17:27

Could your H rent office space?

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Thymewarp · 06/06/2016 11:18

We looked into rented office space but he can't hot desk and is therefore prohibitively expensive in London. I think the loft might have to be the answer but we won't have the money for it for a few years. We were counting on a state school place but didn't get anything in our neighbourhood so now have the unexpected joy of paying fees until DS4 gets a place from the waitlist (hopefully!).

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