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Arrgghhh!!!!!

(9 Posts)
Wdigin2this Mon 23-May-16 15:09:34

Bloody stupid men! Do they not have the part of the brain that tells them how to parent properly!!!!
SGD here today, lovely little girl and I'm very fond of her, but of course she knows how to play for time, how to twist Grandad around her little finger and how to throw a paddy when things are not going exactly her way! He bargains with her, they agree....so end of extra story/game/etc, she tantrums, so he bargains again...and over and over again!
Well, IMHO, he made a hash of parenting his own DC, and has learned no lessons for grandparenting grandkids....so of course in the end, I have to be the bad guy and lay the (very reasonable and lax, we're GP's after all) law down!! Makes me so mad! Grrrr angry

swingofthings Mon 23-May-16 16:25:01

What do you have to be the bad guy? Leave him to it to face the consequences of his choices in dealing with her behaviour.

Tiggeryoubastard Mon 23-May-16 16:28:03

Just because your partner is shit don't blame all men.

Wdigin2this Mon 23-May-16 18:21:42

Oooooh right...so I was just having a rant, which I very rarely do on here or in RL!!!
My DH is most certainly not a shit by the way, but I don't want to have to hang around for god knows how long, whilst he tries unsuccessfully, to get her through the door and into the car, so I intervene, which is how it went down today! I can assure you if it doesn't affect me personally, I advise him, if he's not prepared to try it my way.....I leave him to it and he deals with the cosequences himself!
As for tarnishing all men with my rant...well there you go, it was a rant! But I stand by my opinion that men (IME) do tend to be less able to deal with the machinations of savvy little kids!!

Bananasinpyjamas1 Tue 24-May-16 01:37:36

I hear you! You hardly ever rant so completely understand, things must have built up and built up and then... Snap!

I can imagine it must be very exhausting watching the scenario unfold in front of your eyes, again, and again, with one generation, with the next generation... VERY annoying. Especially as you were careful not to move in with younger DSCs and hopefully avoid any dramas.

Your DH seems to be lost in his inability to have any perspective. It must be a shame as time spent enjoying the grandchildren is being tainted, it can't be fun continually giving in to demands. It's not what he imagined, I expect, a loving grandfather relationship to be. I sat and watched my DP being torn into by his DSD for absolutely no reason, and he just took it, it is really quite upsetting isn't it.

Wdigin2this Tue 24-May-16 08:28:16

Hi Bananas yes that's exactly what it was! We had to be somewhere by a certain time, before delivering DSGD (who is, when properly managed, a little doll) home to parents! If I hadn't needed to go with him, I would have kissed her goodbye at the door, and left him to cope.
My DH is, in every other way (almost) a perfect husband, but he has this fixation about never wanting to upset/offend/refuse his kids and grandkids in any way, which mothers/grandmothers (IME) seem to instinctively know how to get around, without causing meltdowns.....well I usually do anyway!
We are working on it, and after all that with DSGD, he actually refused to buy her sweeties (just before tea), it was funny to watch the pained expression on his face, and the amazed expression on hers!!!! smile

Wdigin2this Tue 24-May-16 08:34:30

PS: Yes it is upsetting to see your DC/DSC being so unappreciative of your DH/DP! With my older DSGC, we never had actual cheek or nastiness, but I often observed a sort of 'I'm just here for what you're giving me' sort of attitude, which DH seemed to just accept. I have actually spoken to DSD and DSGC myself about this, as DH never would, it has got better of late, so I'm ever hopeful!

Wdigin2this Tue 24-May-16 08:36:56

Sorry, I meant to see your DSC and DSGC being so unappreciative

KittensandKnitting Tue 24-May-16 21:31:08

Oh Widgin it's so ok to have a rant!!! If you can't do it hear where can you wink ok actually you really can't sometimes on here soemtimes

My DM had to take the reins with her DSGC on many occasions - my step dad was at a loss of what to do! Took them a while but they have a wonderful relationship now.

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