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anyway to sort these logistical living arrangements?

(15 Posts)
loveyoumummy Mon 16-May-16 13:37:30

Oh and me are planning to co habit
In the next few months but it's starting to get stressful as logistically we don't know how.

I own a 2 bed house, regular size. I have 1 dd who is with me 50:50. Oh has two DC, 3 nights a week.

We can't buy a new house due to his ex wrecking his credit - plus I'd not rather make such a massive commitment until we've at least lived together first. Plus I don't think i would just want to buy in my own name.

Due to the days we each have our children, there are only two crossover nights when we have all three.

I don't want to rent my house out because everyone I know that's done that has had problems with tenants etc.

So how do we logistically do it? My oh suggested putting his DC's bunk beds in our room and putting their toys in storage units in our room.

We did wonder about putting a conservatory on and making that a living room/playroom and then changing the current lounge in to our bedroom, with oh's DC having the big bedroom? But then they'll have a massive bedroom to themselves.

Or we do put the bunk beds in my room and still have conservatory but that had storage for toys etc.

Sorry to ramble on, just can't get my head round it all? Don't want everyone to feel as they though are camping!

We said we'd try something for a year as hopefully the credit situation will be better

cannotlogin Mon 16-May-16 18:56:41

the half-sentence 'due to his ex wrecking his credit' rings massive alarm bells to me. Do you know the exact circumstances of this? Unless you do and are very clear that the ex was at fault (noting that our credit records are our own and if we are no longer with a person with bad credit, this can be noted on our accounts), I would be very, very cautious about intertwining your finances. And that goes double if you value

titchy Mon 16-May-16 19:01:41

Age and sex of kids?

HeddaGarbled Mon 16-May-16 23:48:27

Storage for toys shouldn't be that big an issue surely? A few boxes can be squeezed in anywhere. It's the sleeping arrangements which are important.

You need one room exclusively for you and your P. I don't think putting his children's bunk beds in with you is a good idea, though you can store their toys and stuff. Can all the children share the other room for 2 nights a week? If not, then you will have to extend and if a conservatory is the only way to do that, then that is what you will have to do.

If you want to live with him enough, you will have to get over the resentment of cramming into your old lounge while his children have your old bedroom. 5 people in a 2 bed house is always going to be a squash and compromise. It depends how much you want it as to whether you are prepared to put up with it.

Don't believe everything he tells you about his ex. He could be equally crap with money. Be careful and watchful.

MyKingdomForBrie Mon 16-May-16 23:56:08

Swap bedrooms with your DC, you have the small room and put all three DC in the large bedroom, along with all their toys.

Bananasinpyjamas1 Tue 17-May-16 00:32:21

2 beds just seems too small for 3 kids and two adults. I'm not sure that would give you the best chance of a good start? Why do you think you will have trouble with tenants? If you vet and choose them carefully, with an agency, you minimise that risk. Weigh that up against squashing everyone in. I'm just not sure it would work.

Failing that, can you build into the attic? Anything?

truthwithin Tue 17-May-16 00:47:29

Attic conversation?

wallywobbles Tue 17-May-16 20:48:29

Rent yours out on a short tenancy and rent somewhere bigger. If you need to move back into your own home I think you can evict your tenants easier. That said I don't live in the uk.

Thistly Tue 17-May-16 22:53:36


Swap bedrooms with your DC, you have the small room and put all three DC in the large bedroom, along with all their toys.

A great solution.

LogicalThinking Tue 17-May-16 23:20:39

Ages and sex of the children is very relevant here.

loveyoumummy Wed 18-May-16 07:39:10

Sorry it would be useful to add that. Dd4 dss2 and dss5.

Re the credit when they were together he took out credit in his name for a table and chairs for the kitchen. She said she'd carry on with the payments and she didn't and it defaulted.

I don't have room for an attic conversion as its not tall enough roof space

loveyoumummy Wed 18-May-16 07:39:40

I like the idea of swapping rooms though, it's just whether all sharing there'd get all excitable and not sleep!

LogicalThinking Wed 18-May-16 09:52:52

The 3 of them all sharing the bigger room seems to be the only realistic option, but you will need a better solution longer term. You have several years before that's an issue though.

navylily Wed 18-May-16 10:28:07

With those ages I'd be inclined to put bunk beds and a small child's bed all in together to your largest bedroom and have them all share. A conservatory for extra living space and toys would probably help a lot too.

Would it be possible to change either of your rotas with exes so that they only overlap one night a week?

I'd do whatever you can to avoid people moving and a shuffling depending on who's in the house, too disruptive.

Thistly Wed 18-May-16 13:38:56

They will be excited the first few times, and then they will get used to it.

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