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Step-parenting

how do you split the cost of holidays?

12 replies

loveyoumummy · 29/04/2016 17:40

In 4 months we are going on our first holiday together. I have 1 and oh has 2dc. The holiday cost is based on a per person rather than a sole cost for hire (iyswim). As we are at the early stage our finances are still completely separate.

I paid the small deposit for the holiday but our full balance is due in a month and I'm starting to wonder how we pay it.

If we were a little further down the line and our finances were combined and we were more of a family unit, then I wouldn't hesitate to split it down the middle, however I kind of feel reluctant to split at this stage when money is so tight for myself. However I don't want to
Come across as selfish.

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DontMindTheStep · 29/04/2016 18:46

Hmm..my advice is start as you mean to go on.

That might be a 2/5 and 3/5 split.

Or perhaps you pay the deposit as you have done so (and if say it was 20%) then that covers the cost of your child.
Maybe, just maybe, your partner can pay the balance??

Once on holiday you can then afford to be generous with splitting the bill when eating out, taking turns to pay for icecreams.

What's your partner's attitude to paying? Does he have less income than you, and you suggested the booking?

I find that as wife, I have all the holiday ideas, plan all our holidays, save for them and pay for them out of joint savings that I squirrel away. This is common amongst my friends too.

Most recently I forced the issue that my DH should pay for his adult sons. So I have made the new norm... If adult children are invited to come on holiday with us then the respective parent pays. Otherwise I pay out of my savings.

You're not going to come across as selfish. Communication is the key. If he bats back a solution you don't think is fair on you then you suggest a fairer balance.

Timing is everything. Catch him in a good mood!

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TurnOffTheTv · 29/04/2016 18:56

I think I would split in half. If we go on holiday we split the cost by bedroom. How many bedrooms are there?

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Lilaclily · 29/04/2016 18:58

Oh God I know it's too late but I'd have discussed it before you booked

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Bluelilies · 29/04/2016 20:04

We're married but still have largely separate finances and generally split holiday costs in proportion so we're each paying for our own kids. This works OK because DH earns more than me but also has more kids.

I'd tell your DP that the balance is due and could he pay you his share, and calculate it as 3/5 of the total (assuming adults cost the same as kids)

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loveyoumummy · 29/04/2016 20:19

Thank you for your comments. My oh is full time and I'm
Part time, that being said his salary is average. If we each had a child we got have got it cheaper as it would have been a family of 4, but with a 3rd child it's meant an extra room etc.

I would happily split whilst we are there like food/ice creams/treats, but I think for the holiday it should be split fairly like 2/5 and 3/5.

I will speak to him about it when he's in a good mood. I don't think he'll have an issue about it, well I hope not!

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1ofthosedays · 30/04/2016 01:32

I would like things split in half. I don't have a DC but my DP has a a DD.
From my point of view, if/when we have DCs then things would be split 50/50 as we both work and have good jobs so I don't want him spending more on his DD then what he would spend on all his DCs and all things should be equal.
However, I think I would think differently if I already had DCs.
As a step child myself, I expect my step dad to pay equally for all the children when we go away.

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girlsmum1510 · 30/04/2016 08:20

I have two, my dp has one and we split in han half. It still works out cheaper than if we were going on our own.

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Berthatydfil · 01/05/2016 11:00

If the cost is invoiced per person then that's what you pay for - easy.
Re spending money etc 2 children the same age will cost roughly twice as much as one in food meals out ice creams etc.
I'm afraid this early in a relationship I would be expecting to pay my own way and so should he and I wouldn't be happy if I was expected to split costs down the middle.
I would reconsider if I had a teen and he had 2 toddlers but otherwise it should be a 5 way split 3/5 to 2/5.

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DoreenLethal · 01/05/2016 11:03

I will speak to him about it when he's in a good mood.

Why, if he is in a bad mood what happens? Surely you should be able to approach your partner when they are in any mood?

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creativevoid · 01/05/2016 11:05

I wondered the same, Doreen.

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bumbleclat · 03/05/2016 05:36

My DH pays for himself and his DD and I just pay for myself :) simples

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Tearsoffrustration · 03/05/2016 09:08

I have split ours 2/3 (me and Ds) and 1/3 DP

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