Hey I'm new on here thought I'd say hello and sound out some help :)
So I'm 27, got 2 beautiful daughters aged 6 and 4, separated from their dad pending divorce (he wont sign and admit his affair) and I've met someone I'm crazy about, beeing slowly seeing each other a year and a half. He is genuinely a wonderful guy, has 2 boys also aged 6 and 4, he's a teacher and we get on so well eveything seems perfect. We have been taking things super slow and the kids get on really well, always asking if we will get married one day so they can be brothers/sisters and so on, its been a piece of cake so far. Except a few things, and i totally know theyre my issues but i dont know how to get rid of them.
I find myself getting jealous of his boys, theyre lovely boys a little rougher than i would allow my own kids to be but im used to my girls who are gentle and sweet natured (they literally never argue) im concerned about the way theyre being raised by their mum (who has 4 other kids who are teens and a total nightmare by the sound of it) And i worry that my girls will be affected by the attitudes of his boys and their roughness. If we were to ever live together (we both have our kids 50% of the time and always at the same time it seems) i know it would bug me that his boys are allowed to watch cartoons i wouldnt dream of letting my girls see, they play rough and fight with each other, he intervenes but still, and the language isnt good sometimes as they pick it up from their older half siblings who swear.
Whilst i know i genuinely love his boys, and he loves my girls and we are crazy about each other, am i mad to let this bother me? i know i cant wrap my girls in cotton wool but i think ive done a bloody good job of raising them right and they arent perfect but theyre so sweet natured to each other and when they spend a lot of time with the boys they do change towards each other, arguing or using rude words and then we have to have our chats about why the boys do that and are always getting told off by their dad for it.
He is a great dad, he is great with my girls, stuff between us is almost picture perfect and then when he has his boys it tumbles downwards. I now become resentful of the times he has them, realising that when he got told he was having them for the whole half term coming up because she wants to go abroad without them, i had to go and calm down because i selfishly thought "what about our time?" usually we both have all 4 kids the first half of the holidays and then no kids the other half and we do our own thing. I TOTALLY get that he is excited to have the kids in the half term but i will barely see him, between him doing school work and the boys, and when i do we wont have any alone time at all.
So am i being a total selfish bitch, because i feel like im being irrational but i cant stop feeling like that, any tips on handling it?!!
PS sorry for the rant!!!
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47 replies
Writingdragonfly · 22/04/2016 16:28
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