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How do you deal with child telling their parents what they want to hear?

(3 Posts)
Chloecoconut Sun 17-Apr-16 15:05:57

Just wondering if anyone could give me a hand please with dealing with this?

I have my own dc's and one dsc aged 8 (who lives a couple of hours drive away). DSC's mum and my DP have a very difficult relationship. DSC is obviously telling each parent what h/she thinks they want to hear in terms of who h/she wants to see and when etc. I do totally understand this as I have seen the same with my children (my eldest knows his dad gets angry easily and so says what dad wants to hear to keep the peace). There is no way in the world that DP and his ex will sit DSC down to talk together about how they are both ok with just being told what their child wants to do. What I'd like to be able to do is just quietly (without a big fuss) say to DSC that if h/she doesn't want to say no to dad then h/she can tell me instead. Except I'm not sure that it's my place to do so and was wondering how others have dealt with this sort of situation.

Thank you smile

Wdigin2this Sun 17-Apr-16 16:58:26

Very tricky! In its not your place, but I understand your motives...how have you dealt with it with your own DC?

Chloecoconut Sun 17-Apr-16 17:38:41

Thanks for the reply - I totally get the not my place thing which is why I thought I'd ask on here as I'm
quite new to this SParenting thing and not always sure where to/not intervene!

With my DC's it's more my eldest (13) as his dad gets angry quite quickly and all DS wants to do is keep the peace. I make sure all of them know that if there is a problem that they can tell me and we will work something out. DS is great at doing this but often asks me not to tell his dad as his dad will get angry (with DS or me) because DS has told me 'first' and not gone directly to his dad sad

It's just difficult I guess to know how to support my dP when he has a child saying h/she wants to do things with him/us and then the mum is saying she's been told completely the opposite.

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