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I'm thinking about getting out

(10 Posts)
WSM123 Wed 02-Dec-15 08:07:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gazelda Wed 02-Dec-15 08:12:04

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. And that you seem to be bearing the brunt of the drama.
But a) I think you should ask MN to chsnge the wording I your second sentence - it's very offensive and b) you do (from this post) seem to be getting more involved than a step parent would normally be expected to.

M48294Y Wed 02-Dec-15 08:12:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NZmonkey Wed 02-Dec-15 08:17:00

flowers sorry to hear its been so tough for you lately WSM. You did the right thing putting in the complaint I can't believe you managed to put up with it as long as you did. I don't have any advise sorry just flowers and chocolate

swingofthings Wed 02-Dec-15 09:02:09

My partner is taking it all out on me because he misses the kids but its really not my fault hd has pandered to his ex for too long and it's worn too thin.
It's not your fault but it also wasn't your decision to decide whether he should do so or not. I pander to my ex when it comes to him paying towards our children. It frustrates my OH, but it is the choice that i am making for my own sanity and making sure the kids don't get stuck in conflict. Thankfully for me, although he doesn't agree with it, he respects my decision and that's one of the reason why I love him. If he had started getting involved, putting pressure on me or worse, started to take matters in his hands and that has resulted in my kids being affected, I would also have blamed him and the relationship would certainly have been affected.

Maybe it is better that you are not together if you can't cope with the way he chose to deal with the situation.

lunar1 Wed 02-Dec-15 14:55:29

I'd get your op edited if I were you. That terminology has no place in this day and age.

WSM123 Wed 02-Dec-15 17:50:39

Look like my post was removed, I have no idea what my second sentence said that was offensive? Maybe autocorrect? If I recall I said the child needed speech therapy and because I had the time to do an Internet search I found one able to work weekend so passed on the detail to my partner to organise it, and the I have been blamed for forcing him into it.

WSM123 Wed 02-Dec-15 17:54:31

Swing. I understand some pandering is required but in this case it causes the children to bd caught up. His ex is stopping him from seeing his children because I made a police complaint about her behaviour towards me (they wouldn't have acted on it unless it was a valid complaint) and I'm over being in her cross hairs , my partner even said she's out to get me, but he won't support me.

WSM123 Wed 02-Dec-15 18:05:09

And when I say I partook in the hair cut I mean I sat on the floor and read him picture books so he would stay still, not the cutting part. Silly me if I thought I was being helpful, it seems you all believe I should butt out so I guess I will be off

AnneLovesGilbert Thu 03-Dec-15 13:20:15

There's no reason you should have to put up with abuse from your DP's ex. It's harassment and I hope he wouldn't expect you to tolerate it and not complain to the police if it was anyone else doing it, so there's no reason he should feel differently because it's her.
It's awful she's using the children to punish him but that's solely between them. That he's blaming you for not being able to see them is absolutely appalling.
Only you know if there's likely to be any light at the end of the tunnel here. It's fine for him to feel sad about the situation and to talk it through with you. But there's no place for blame, how dare he?!
If there are enough things about your life with him and your relationship that make you feel happy, valued, supported, liked, loved and hopeful then you might have a chance and it might be worth hanging on.
But this isn't really about the DSC or their Mum, it's about how you and your DP deal with conflict in your relationship. And if you don't think he's able to prioritise your relationship, no matter what other struggles he may face, then he doesn't deserve you and you may be happier without him.

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