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If you're a stepparent - who chooses / pays for DSC Christmas presents?

(41 Posts)
squicketysquack Tue 10-Nov-15 12:42:21

I guess there are a few options:

1)DP/H chooses and pays for all DSC presents
2)SM helps to choose / contributes towards a joint present for DSC
3)DP/H and SM buy separate presents for DSC

In our case it’s 1) – DP chooses / buys for his ‘side’ of the family, including SS, I do for mine. Mainly because we have separate finances I guess. Just interested in what others do really and what the reasons are.

Bubbletree4 Tue 10-Nov-15 12:44:06

My stepmother chooses and buys our presents as my dad is lazy and thoughtless.

MascaraAndConverse89 Tue 10-Nov-15 12:50:28

We choose together because he likes to get my opinions and ideas, but he pays for them.

MTPurse Tue 10-Nov-15 12:50:43

Dp and I buy all our presents for our dc (4 between us, none together) between us, We do not buy separately for any of the dc.

purpledasies Tue 10-Nov-15 12:51:06

My DH buys the main presents for his DC, sometimes with my input, sometimes not. I also buy them small things just from me, as I enjoy doing that. We have separate finances like you. We do a joint effort with stockings - for the DSC and DC and both buy things for all the kids.

bluebell8782 Tue 10-Nov-15 13:36:33

I buy most of the little pressies for my SD but will discuss the main one with DH and either I'll pay or he will - she's as good as a daughter in my eyes even if I didn't give birth to her so I don't think twice about paying/choosing things for her. Each situation is different, however, whatever works for that family.

3phase Tue 10-Nov-15 14:22:29

I choose, buy and wrap all of DSD's presents just I like I do for our other DC. I discuss the 'big' presents for all the kids with DH but I don't bother with smaller stuff or stockings. He's happy to leave me to it which suits me fine to be honest.

WhoGivesAFlying Tue 10-Nov-15 14:46:51

I give ideas, he pays as I'm a SAHM

Bananasinpyjamas1 Tue 10-Nov-15 14:50:34

I think this is one situation where there is no drama in my household! My DP buys for half the kids, EX for other half. I buy for DC. We both buy for 'mutual' DC.

However, we don't have all the kids for Christmas ever, which is a shame. But we used to have all the kids every weekend, so we have a 'mini Christmas' a couple of weeks before, and ALL of us, DP, me, the toddler, DSCs, DC we all put our names into a hat and then pick one, and spend about £5. It's just a way of trying to make everyone feel like they belong.

VimFuego101 Tue 10-Nov-15 14:53:51

I tend to come up with ideas for DSD, I note down ideas throughout the year as she mentions things she likes, and DH would never be that organized! They are labelled from both of us (well, it's implied, we only put people's names on the presents, not who they're from smile)

hampsterdam Tue 10-Nov-15 17:33:53

Main presents we sort out for our own kids, we will both buy small bits for both boys anything we think they will like. We have separate money so all presents for his family he sorts and me for mine. We do agree a general budget for the kids, or dh would just go mad and spend hundreds. Everything labeled from both of us.
All sorted then on Xmas eve dh will go and buy more plastic tat and something he likes for himself but desguised as a gift for the kids.

fuzzpig Tue 10-Nov-15 17:44:18

I choose because I love it! I have a wishlist for each of my DSCs that I add to throughout the year, just like I do with our DCs (different stuff though, as DSCs are teen/adults now). DH tells me any of the ideas he has too and will sometimes pick things up if he sees them, but I'd say about 75% are chosen by me. In particular one DSD is more like a little sister to me - we spend a lot of time together when DH is working and we share a lot of interests - so choosing presents for her is much easier for me.

Our finances are joint so 'we' pay for them.

AddictedtoGreys Tue 10-Nov-15 18:04:50

My DH and I both choose together and pay together as we have a joint account. Though a lot of the time if I am out and see something DSD will like I will get it

19lottie82 Tue 10-Nov-15 18:28:49

I quite like buying presents so I choose and buy most of them..... DH usually buys them the "big" present that they ask for tho. Usually works out about half and half.

mrssmith79 Tue 10-Nov-15 18:34:31

I choose and buy. Choose because dh is clueless, buy because if I'm standing in the shop looking at something or browsing online it would be nonsensical to demand that he come and cough up the funds first. It's a joint account anyway.

Maybe83 Tue 10-Nov-15 18:49:47

The older dictate what's bought as it's what they have requested. We pick up little bits and pieces that we think our own might like. Our dd is to small to ask so we have picked things we think she will like. Money spent on our respective sc come out of our joint money.

WSM123 Tue 10-Nov-15 19:16:37

My partner buys things for our house, his ex buys things for her house (so they basically get two lots of presents
I also get them something little and educational/practical just because I think that sort of thing is important.

supermariossister Tue 10-Nov-15 19:36:29

We buy together for 3 children, none together. Depends on who has more money at the time or has seen something they think would suit. I tend to pick more because he isn't very clued up on current toys/games and I'm a better bargain hunter. Sometimes we go halves with his ex wife and partner if it's something like a phone and put it from all of us.

Wdigin2this Wed 11-Nov-15 13:44:40

I choose, buy and usually wrap everything, for everyone, because DH would not have the smallest clue! Generally he pays, but I tend to pay for most of my DC's gifts!

coffeeisnectar Wed 11-Nov-15 16:06:17

Depends who has the money. I have paid for my 2 and 2 dsd presents this year. We decided together mostly but I know more about what they want so I suggest it, he agrees and then we buy it.

Thesearegoodtimes Wed 11-Nov-15 18:15:07

Dh does all the choosing, shopping, wrapping for his three. He knows his children's likes, and he is good at choosing presents for them. While he'll pay for them, it's all considered joint money whether it's "his" or "mine", we don't separate finances that way.

Neverenuff Thu 12-Nov-15 12:43:17

We just do joint presents for his kids. We have a joint account and it's Christmas I want an easy life.

Christmas and birthdays come from joint money and both have input. But for other stuff I tend to make dp pay out of his own pocket as I feel he pays enough maintenance and has agreed for the kids mum that she sorts everything else.

It also means that if we ever have a child together there is no differentiating who gets what from who.

GreenGoblin0 Fri 13-Nov-15 18:43:37

for years I (sm) generally paid for presents for DSSs as I had higher disposable income as DP was paying very high maintenance for his income. we now have a DD together and my disposable income is lower so we generally go about halves although DP generally takes lead in choosing for DSSs

jamtartandcustard Mon 16-Nov-15 22:54:24

I chose and buy for my 2 dc, dsd and our dc together mainly because dh is useless.
He had to buy dsd an outfit the other week, just in tescos, last minute thing. I left him for 15 mins then went to aee what was taking so long. I've never seen a grown man look so lost and confused over buying socks for a 6 year old! It's just easier if I do it really

Purplerain067 Thu 19-Nov-15 12:00:20

We choose together, he pays for his DC and I pay for my DD, although if either of us see something one of them would like, we buy it anyway. All of the presents are marked from both of us smile

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