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(12 Posts)
Pegs22 Sun 20-Sep-15 14:14:26

Hi everyone I am sorry if this is in the wrong place.
But I feel so trapped and deceived and confused.
I have a beautiful DD who is 15 and I love her so much.
I recently got remarried after 4 years of being with my current husband who has one Son who is 17!
And in my eyes horrible my DH gives him £80 a month and a futher £40 for his sports clubs which is okay and I'm not petty but my DD does not get the same as he says we cannot afford it!
I work hard too.
Then there's the baby issue He told me we would have another child etc but now we are married he's suddenly changed his mind and he knew how much I wanted another baby.
sad I feel like crying all the time, he is so selfish now we are married I rarely get treated nice yet he's always telling me what his ex wife got and what she didn't which is more than me!
I have three tops to my name one pair of trainers which are split and one coat and two pairs of jeans that's my entire wardrobe!
Yet his son who is so ungrateful gets everything me and my DD are in a new town and are reliant on him to go any where as I can't drive it's driving me insane I can feel myself sinking deeper and when I talk to him about it he does not listen sad

DoreenLethal Sun 20-Sep-15 14:16:18

This isn't about being a stepparent is it?

Can you move back and out of the new town and leave him?

RandomMess Sun 20-Sep-15 14:16:33

Leave, he is financially abusing you now that you are dependent on him. It's not going to get any better is it?

Bellebella Sun 20-Sep-15 14:17:52

It's not a stepchild issue, your problem is your partner. Do you work? Not sure why you have so little clothes?

Your partner sounds as if he is using money against you.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sun 20-Sep-15 14:20:15

Post again in Relationships, it will get you more directed responses.

Your H is being unfair to BOTH of you - sounds like you need to get out. Your DD will be able to leave home soon enough anyway, but what about you?

Pegs22 Sun 20-Sep-15 14:20:44

It's about being a step parent and wondering how I can see that my DD is treated fairly I just feel like I'm in a bad situation and I don't know how I can get out when I talk about leaving he cries I love him but I feel like a B*tch constantly moaning at him nothing changes! I wash iron cook and clean for him and he complains at me that empty loo rolls are left! His family are the most ignorant people I have ever encountered and I feel like crying ALL The time

LineyReborn Sun 20-Sep-15 14:26:04

Get your daughter, and you, out of there. Please. flowers And post in Relationships.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sun 20-Sep-15 14:26:52

How do you expect to get fair treatment for your DD when you don't have it for yourself? He has no respect for you, he's certainly not going to respect your wishes for your DD.

There is nothing good here for you, for either of you.

StanSmithsChin Sun 20-Sep-15 17:16:28

This is not a step parent problem OP as others have quite rightly said. Your issue is your abusive and controlling husband. You need to speak to him about changing his behavior, if he doesn't then you need to think about leaving the relationship.

mysticlogistic Sun 20-Sep-15 22:50:59

Im with the others, you're not bergrudging his son the money so it isn't a step parenting problem but you do sound like you are being financially abused.

Have you ever thought about what might happen if you just went out and got yourself a few new tops, or shoes. About if you spent some money on DD and took her out shopping for the day? Do you feel like you have an equal right to spend your money?

HappyMama123 Mon 21-Sep-15 14:21:36

You say you earn your own money so spend some on yourself and you dd you do not need his permission and if you do GET OUT because he is a bully. Take control of yourself and be strong. Go out and buy some new trainers what can he say? No? Tell him to piss off! Maybe seperate your finances and have a seperate account for bills you both pay into. What you're left with is your spends. Personally tho i think your oh should be giving both kids the same as they are equal end of x

Letitgoletitgo Tue 22-Sep-15 20:14:44

He sounds vile, and you need to get out for yourself and your daughter.

But - in terms of money he gives his ds- is this maintenance? Or does ds live with you all? Is he assuming your dd gets money from her father in the same way?

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