Anyone else had enough?! Join me for a glass of virtual prosecco!

[happygirl87]

Sometimes I find being a step-mother all too much! Can't even be bothered to go into it - just pass the ! Anyone else?!

[wheresthelight]

Don't mind if I do! Thanking you

[Lyla1982]

YY - make mine a large one....or two

[happygirl87]

and all round!

[Wdigin2this]

A large, ice cold Pinot Grigio for me please!!

[happygirl87]

Wdigin, it's probably too early for Pinot now.. Buck's Fizz?!

[Wdigin2this]

Yeah....that'll do nicely!!

[Melonfool]

Wish I'd seen this last night with dp fallen asleep on the sofa, I dealt with tea, shower, bedtime etc for our Belorussian visitor. First evening in ages no dss and dp straight to sleep on sofa.
Should have had a glass of wine but I don't drink alone.....

And I'd only told him that day how cross and upset I am that dss DM is now only having him one day, tomorrow, out of the whole summer holidays so we get zero time on our own.

[happygirl87]

Melonfool and (and unMumsnetty hugs!)

Can we make this a no judgment thread?! I have no friends IRL who have DSCs and it's nice to have somewhere to just say "things seem hard".

[Mariestepmum]

Always a none judgemental step mum here

???????????? couldn't life with out a drink or four, oh dear

[Melonfool]

Got wine tonight, visitor in bed, Dp did the bedtime, DS at his DM for a change.

[happygirl87]

Nice one Melon - does that mean you and DP get some time together?

I'm still at work

[happygirl87]

And welcome and Marie!

[hoobygalooby]

DSC went home on Friday after 2 weeks with us. They are now away with their Mum for two weeks and we won't see them now till September.
DP is moping and pining like his world has ended! I'm sick of looking at his miserable face. Makes me feel so special
Where's that ?????

[Melonfool]

Yes, time together to each read stuff on our phones and ignore each other. But at least we're both doing it at the same time!

[Wdigin2this]

Oh dear, that's sad! When you do get time together, you're usually too tired to appreciate it, modern life I suppose! I have been indulging in a few glasses of dry white with friends, while my DH climbs a mountain in Africa!!!!

[happygirl87]

Morning hooby, as it's early have some Buck's Fizz! Sorry to hear about your DP- does he always find the DC hols difficult? Would he feel better if he skyped them/sent a postcard/booked something for when they're next with you, and then that might help him cheer up?! can you suggest the positives to him- doing romantic child free stuff or if you have your own DC then doing things that are easier in a smaller group etc?

Feel free to ignore all the thoughts above if you just wanted to vent- sip your Buck's Fizz and I'll get the brekkie on! Croissants ok for everyone?!

[happygirl87]

Melon - I hear you, believe me, but sometimes it's nice to be together and just have a "normal" eve, doing nothing, isn't it?
Wdigin - white with friends sounds amazing! And hope all is well with DH and the mountain...

[Scoopmuckdizzy]

Can I have my fizz with breakfast please? I've just found out DH has agreed for them to stay until Sunday. They've been here since the start of summer hols and were due to go back to their mum for the weekend but they're staying the weekend here and coming back next weekend. I don't mind but it feels like a really long time since I was 'at home' when I'm here. They take over the sitting room with their Xbox games and glare at anyone who goes in there. I know it's typical teenage behaviour but it really bothers me. Also I'm fed up of collecting up their wrappers and cups from all over the house, having to search for stuff of mine that they use and just abandon when they're done and DH's attitude of they can do no wrong.

I know I'm moaning but I'm tired. I was really looking forward to a weekend to just relax with DH and not feel unwelcome in my own home.

I'm not an evil stepmum. I can cope in small doses but the past few weeks have been tough! If they were mine at least I'd have them helping out a bit but DH is against the having chores when they're visiting. Most visitors don't make this much extra work though!

[happygirl87]

I completely understand what you mean about not feeling at home/able to relax in your own home. Personally I see DSCs as having two homes, so they are not guests, and should muck in! I don't think treating them like guests makes them feel like part of the family IYSWIM? Has your DP considered that? Just wondering if you can involve them in domesticity in a fun way- put them in charge of a BBQ one eve perhaps?! Then afterwards everyone helps clear up...

Personally I think leaving wrappers everywhere is too far, like they expect a maid, but I guess it's between you and DP. My last resort if stuff doesn't get done as we go, due to trying to "have fun" all the time, is to take myself off for a bath with and to tell DP that as it hasn't been done for three days I want the living room tidied while I'm gone, and I don't care who by!

[hoobygalooby]

Happygirl thanks for the suggestions. He speaks to them daily and I get that he misses them. He speaks to them every night so he's being over dramatic. We've had no time alone together for 3 weeks and now he's looking like his world has ended!

[K888]

Hoobygalooby - I hear you! We all miss our kids - but having time with our OHs as a break from being a step mum is a chance to build our relationship too... or so I think (but not OH!)

At critical point with OH and trying to see how we can mend things with each other. Yet the only time we had together was with all of his DSDs on 'holiday' and all he wants to do is to spend time with them. I have a son of my own but I still realise the importance of creating special time for me and him... sigh... will join for glass of anything at this stage!

[yellowdaisies]

Can I join you? We've got back from holiday today and turns out DH has arranged not to drop them back to their mum's until tomorrow evening. He's out with friends tonight and working from home tomorrow. The DSC aren't much trouble, and I do normally get on well with them but I'm knackered, and just cooking and stuff for 8 (4 DSC plus 2 of my own) is hard work. And I think the DSC are just ready to go back to their mum's. God knows why he arranged tomorrow evening. I think he just wasn't thinking straight. I wish their mum would speak to me, as it would be a lot easier to make sensible arrangements myself.

[yellowdaisies]

I do have some duty free though

[happygirl87]

Hi K8 and yellow, grab a glass for your duty free

K8 that sounds very hard, hope you can get through to him.
Yellow it sounds like a massive cock up on his part- surprised he's not postponing the night out if he has his 4DC staying! Can you have a v early/chilled out night for all- oven pizzas/fish and chips and a film maybe?! I completely know what you mean about arrangements- I spend half my life saying things like "you can't have DSD then, you've agreed to go away with work"...sigh!

[yellowdaisies]

Thanks happygirl - it's a regular thing DH does with friends on a Wednesday night, so not something he can change. The DSC are old enough that they could be left alone and he knows I'm generally OK about him going out on a Wednesday if they're here. But they don't feed themselves, and as DH is eating with his friends it's just kind of assumed I'll cook for everyone. Cooking for the DSC is harder than just my two as DSC3 and 4 are quite fussy and DSC1 is veggie. I think it'll be pasta and sauce tonight.

I'd mind less if he hadn't seen them for a while, but it's nearly 2 weeks since they last saw their DM and I think they'd just rather be back with her. My DD is a little younger and can be hard work and DSD2 is getting irritated by her - the kids have been 3 to a bedroom for the last week although they've mostly got on pretty well I think now they're just ready for a break from each other.