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Anyone else had enough?! Join me for a glass of virtual prosecco!

(1000 Posts)
happygirl87 Sun 09-Aug-15 21:41:45

Sometimes I find being a step-mother all too much! Can't even be bothered to go into it - just pass the wine! Anyone else?!

wheresthelight Sun 09-Aug-15 21:49:44

winewinewinewineDon't mind if I do! Thanking you

Lyla1982 Sun 09-Aug-15 21:59:19

YY - make mine a large one....or two wine wine grin

happygirl87 Sun 09-Aug-15 22:14:23

wine and cake all round!

Wdigin2this Sun 09-Aug-15 23:22:56

A large, ice cold Pinot Grigio for me please!!

happygirl87 Mon 10-Aug-15 08:29:07

Wdigin, it's probably too early for Pinot now.. Buck's Fizz?! grin

Wdigin2this Mon 10-Aug-15 09:30:37

Yeah....that'll do nicely!!

Melonfool Mon 10-Aug-15 10:56:16

Wish I'd seen this last night with dp fallen asleep on the sofa, I dealt with tea, shower, bedtime etc for our Belorussian visitor. First evening in ages no dss and dp straight to sleep on sofa.
Should have had a glass of wine but I don't drink alone.....

And I'd only told him that day how cross and upset I am that dss DM is now only having him one day, tomorrow, out of the whole summer holidays so we get zero time on our own.

happygirl87 Mon 10-Aug-15 11:18:34

Melonfool flowers and wine (and unMumsnetty hugs!)

Can we make this a no judgment thread?! I have no friends IRL who have DSCs and it's nice to have somewhere to just say "things seem hard".

Mariestepmum Mon 10-Aug-15 13:11:06

Always a none judgemental step mum here

������ couldn't life with out a drink or four, oh dear

Melonfool Mon 10-Aug-15 21:23:43

Got wine tonight, visitor in bed, Dp did the bedtime, DS at his DM for a change.

happygirl87 Mon 10-Aug-15 21:41:58

Nice one Melon - does that mean you and DP get some time together?

I'm still at work sad

happygirl87 Mon 10-Aug-15 21:44:01

And welcome and wine Marie!

hoobygalooby Mon 10-Aug-15 22:31:35

DSC went home on Friday after 2 weeks with us. They are now away with their Mum for two weeks and we won't see them now till September.
DP is moping and pining like his world has ended! I'm sick of looking at his miserable face. Makes me feel so special hmm
Where's that ��?

Melonfool Mon 10-Aug-15 22:55:15

Yes, time together to each read stuff on our phones and ignore each other. But at least we're both doing it at the same time!

Wdigin2this Mon 10-Aug-15 23:51:07

Oh dear, that's sad! When you do get time together, you're usually too tired to appreciate it, modern life I suppose! I have been indulging in a few glasses of dry white with friends, while my DH climbs a mountain in Africa!!!! hmm

happygirl87 Tue 11-Aug-15 08:17:23

Morning hooby, as it's early have some Buck's Fizz! Sorry to hear about your DP- does he always find the DC hols difficult? Would he feel better if he skyped them/sent a postcard/booked something for when they're next with you, and then that might help him cheer up?! can you suggest the positives to him- doing romantic child free stuff or if you have your own DC then doing things that are easier in a smaller group etc?

Feel free to ignore all the thoughts above if you just wanted to vent- sip your Buck's Fizz and I'll get the brekkie on! Croissants ok for everyone?! grin

happygirl87 Tue 11-Aug-15 08:31:22

Melon - I hear you, believe me, but sometimes it's nice to be together and just have a "normal" eve, doing nothing, isn't it?
Wdigin - white with friends sounds amazing! And hope all is well with DH and the mountain...

Scoopmuckdizzy Tue 11-Aug-15 10:25:27

Can I have my fizz with breakfast please? I've just found out DH has agreed for them to stay until Sunday. They've been here since the start of summer hols and were due to go back to their mum for the weekend but they're staying the weekend here and coming back next weekend. I don't mind but it feels like a really long time since I was 'at home' when I'm here. They take over the sitting room with their Xbox games and glare at anyone who goes in there. I know it's typical teenage behaviour but it really bothers me. Also I'm fed up of collecting up their wrappers and cups from all over the house, having to search for stuff of mine that they use and just abandon when they're done and DH's attitude of they can do no wrong.

I know I'm moaning but I'm tired. I was really looking forward to a weekend to just relax with DH and not feel unwelcome in my own home.

I'm not an evil stepmum. I can cope in small doses but the past few weeks have been tough! If they were mine at least I'd have them helping out a bit but DH is against the having chores when they're visiting. Most visitors don't make this much extra work though!

happygirl87 Tue 11-Aug-15 11:05:28

<passes fizz to Scoop.... Adds extra champagne grin>

I completely understand what you mean about not feeling at home/able to relax in your own home. Personally I see DSCs as having two homes, so they are not guests, and should muck in! I don't think treating them like guests makes them feel like part of the family IYSWIM? Has your DP considered that? Just wondering if you can involve them in domesticity in a fun way- put them in charge of a BBQ one eve perhaps?! Then afterwards everyone helps clear up...

Personally I think leaving wrappers everywhere is too far, like they expect a maid, but I guess it's between you and DP. My last resort if stuff doesn't get done as we go, due to trying to "have fun" all the time, is to take myself off for a bath with wine and to tell DP that as it hasn't been done for three days I want the living room tidied while I'm gone, and I don't care who by!

hoobygalooby Tue 11-Aug-15 16:57:05

Happygirl thanks for the suggestions. He speaks to them daily and I get that he misses them. He speaks to them every night so he's being over dramatic. We've had no time alone together for 3 weeks and now he's looking like his world has ended!

K888 Tue 11-Aug-15 17:10:24

Hoobygalooby - I hear you! We all miss our kids - but having time with our OHs as a break from being a step mum is a chance to build our relationship too... or so I think (but not OH!)

At critical point with OH and trying to see how we can mend things with each other. Yet the only time we had together was with all of his DSDs on 'holiday' and all he wants to do is to spend time with them. I have a son of my own but I still realise the importance of creating special time for me and him... sigh... will join for glass of anything at this stage!

yellowdaisies Tue 11-Aug-15 17:12:16

Can I join you? We've got back from holiday today and turns out DH has arranged not to drop them back to their mum's until tomorrow evening. He's out with friends tonight and working from home tomorrow. The DSC aren't much trouble, and I do normally get on well with them but I'm knackered, and just cooking and stuff for 8 (4 DSC plus 2 of my own) is hard work. And I think the DSC are just ready to go back to their mum's. God knows why he arranged tomorrow evening. I think he just wasn't thinking straight. I wish their mum would speak to me, as it would be a lot easier to make sensible arrangements myself. angry

yellowdaisies Tue 11-Aug-15 17:13:01

I do have some duty free wine though smile

happygirl87 Tue 11-Aug-15 17:20:29

Hi K8 and yellow, grab a glass for your duty free <passes naice crisps and nuts to accompany>

K8 that sounds very hard, hope you can get through to him.
Yellow it sounds like a massive cock up on his part- surprised he's not postponing the night out if he has his 4DC staying! Can you have a v early/chilled out night for all- oven pizzas/fish and chips and a film maybe?! I completely know what you mean about arrangements- I spend half my life saying things like "you can't have DSD then, you've agreed to go away with work"...sigh!

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