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Who do you like better?

(16 Posts)
NZmonkey Tue 07-Jul-15 04:10:47

My DP often asks his DD(4) (my DSD) who do you like better me or NZmonkey? in front of me.

Is it just me or is this not something you should ask a child? It makes me feel really uncomfortable because i dread she will say me and upset her father. And she always looks real uncomfortable and confused too.
Im just not sure if i should talk to my DP about it or continue to let it slide because im over reacting.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Tue 07-Jul-15 04:17:14

Good grief, what a thing to do to a small child!! Of course he shouldn't be bullying her into making that kind of choice, why is he doing it?

You are not over-reacting, it's a horribly unkind thing to do to her - ask him what he's hoping to achieve by it and then deconstruct it and try to get him to stop. Really nasty thing to do. sad

daisychain01 Tue 07-Jul-15 05:23:37

This is very concerning. Your DP shouldn't be putting his DC into a position of conflict. DC will always try to please and it means they are being forced to not please either you or their Daf whatever their answer is.

Please discuss with your DP and get him to realise how cruel it is. Maybe he doesn't realise or thinks it's some kind of joke, but it needs to be nipped in the bud IMHO

downgraded Tue 07-Jul-15 06:02:27

Your Dp is being incredibly immature and a twat.

Does he know anything about children at all? Does he care? Because this is incredibly stupid and unfair.

JakieOH Tue 07-Jul-15 08:45:00

I think that's very strange behaviour! He sounds really insecure

Fallout4 Tue 07-Jul-15 12:30:29

I bet she says her dad but secretly it's you op.
It's actually an incredibly cruel game to play and he needs to put a stop to it now. Stupid, stupid man!

NZmonkey Wed 08-Jul-15 10:42:41

Thank you all for the responses
I really have no idea why he does it, maybe he does think its some kind of joke. Its not one either me or DSD find funny though.
I will speak to him about it before she arrives this weekend

Ouchbloodyouch Thu 09-Jul-15 21:47:59

How old is he? Twunt.

NZmonkey Thu 09-Jul-15 21:59:23

DP is in his early 30s.
He does care but seems unable to understanding how some of the things he says and does affects those around him.

firesidechat Sat 11-Jul-15 20:07:06

Is he a complete fool?

This is something you never ever say to your children. Would he say this if you were their birth mother too? I only ask because I've seen the biological parents play this same popularity game and it is more than stupid. It is harmful in my opinion.

NZmonkey Sat 11-Jul-15 21:25:04

firesidechat - i think that is part of the problem he would say it if i were her mother. like you said i still think even if i was her mum it would be wrong. Im not her mum though which makes it so much worse in my mind.

Finola1step Sat 11-Jul-15 21:27:07

The man is a fool.

Mygardenistoobig Tue 14-Jul-15 21:27:23

He should not be asking her this.

Wdigin2this Wed 15-Jul-15 00:32:25

What kind of an idiot is he??! How dare he put that poor child in such a terrible position, how confusing and upsetting it must be for her, I'm upset for her just thinking about it! Show him these posts, and perhaps then he'll stop bullying the poor little thing!!!

LittleLionMansMummy Wed 15-Jul-15 13:07:00

No. Neither of us have ever asked our jointly conceived child this for the same reasons. Totally inappropriate. Poor child.

LittleLionMansMummy Wed 15-Jul-15 13:08:01

Oh and i almost hope she does respond and say you. That'll teach him. Idiot.

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