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Am I wrong for saying my partner can't have his son for a whole week in summer holidays when I'm due to give birth by csection at very beginning of summer holiday?

(115 Posts)
Paige2354 Fri 26-Jun-15 14:10:16

Basically I want to know if I am being selfish in saying that my partner can't have his son for a whole week during the summer holidays after im due to give birth to his daughter by c section right at the beginning of the summer holidays. I've said its ok to keep to the arrangement of having him every other weekend at this time but I've never had a c section before I don't know what its going to be like and how il be. I also don't know how my baby will be with sleep etc and we live in a tiny flat with hardly enough room to swing a cat. Am I being out of order?

TrixLestrange Fri 26-Jun-15 14:11:15

Yes yabu

AllThatGlistens Fri 26-Jun-15 14:12:39

Oh god..

Don your tin hat OP.

dancemom Fri 26-Jun-15 14:12:44

What would you do if you had a resident child?

Paige2354 Fri 26-Jun-15 14:15:37

There the thing I do already have 2 resident children and he has one resident child in a 2 bedroom flat

flagnogbagnog Fri 26-Jun-15 14:15:44

Hell yes, yabu!

YAsoNBU Fri 26-Jun-15 14:18:46

Oh God ...

enderwoman Fri 26-Jun-15 14:19:30

How old is the child? My secondary school age children are able to knock up meals like lasagne and could take a younger child out to the park/shops to pick bits and pieces up so would be an asset.

BreacaBoudica Fri 26-Jun-15 14:19:53

Of course you are being unreasonable. Stop it.

JasperDamerel Fri 26-Jun-15 14:20:35

YABU, as I'm assuming that you are in favour of the siblings having a good relationship. But I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect your DP to pull his weight and look after both his son and you during this time - cooking, housework, entertaining his DS etc.

downgraded Fri 26-Jun-15 14:20:57

oh hohohoho smile

Yes, YABU.

However YWNBU to require him to run his arse ragged for that time. Don't be tempted to overdo it.

But unless you are planning to ban your own kids from the house too, you can't ban his.

NerrSnerr Fri 26-Jun-15 14:21:08

I can see where you're coming from but I would worry that they would feel excluded from the family.

LadyintheRadiator Fri 26-Jun-15 14:21:11

So you have three children living with you already? One more wont make much difference then? Excluding him might though.

Paige2354 Fri 26-Jun-15 14:21:17

The child is 4

TinyManticore Fri 26-Jun-15 14:21:45

If you don't have room in your house for all of the children, why are you having more? I really honestly never say things like that, but how can you say he can't have his son round because you've just given birth to his daughter? How heartless.

downgraded Fri 26-Jun-15 14:22:22

4 kids in a two bedroom flat!

I think you need your head looking at smile

Iggi999 Fri 26-Jun-15 14:22:30

You currently have three Dcs between you who share one bedroom in your flat, another who lives elsewhere, and are having a fifth? confused
Is it that your partner doesn't take time off when the other child comes and so you would be expected to look after him even if you'd had your section? I would agree that would not be on.

Paige2354 Fri 26-Jun-15 14:23:51

Yes he will not take the week off work to look after him

Paige2354 Fri 26-Jun-15 14:24:38

It's not an ideal situation no but things happen and at present can't afford a bigger property

Iggi999 Fri 26-Jun-15 14:25:03

How will the child be looked after then, suppose you weren't at home due to baby, who normally minds him?

BrokenByA3YearOld Fri 26-Jun-15 14:25:57


is the polite way of saying it

Paige2354 Fri 26-Jun-15 14:26:15

If I wasn't home he wouldn't be coming that's the joke of the situation his own mother does not work either

NickiFury Fri 26-Jun-15 14:26:51

There's so much wrong with your posts but I will confine myself to your question. Yes YABU, utterly. That said if I was his Mum I wouldn't want him with you if his Dad isn't going to be around to help when he is so clearly unwanted by the person who would be caring for him.

MagicAlwaysLeadsToTrouble Fri 26-Jun-15 14:27:12

Are you together? Or seperated?

Your OP is very confusing.

Iggi999 Fri 26-Jun-15 14:28:04

Well your partner will have paternity leave at some point so bring him then. He doesn't normally come for a week in the holidays at all? Isn't that unusual, I would think a non-resident parent would want to take some annual leave to see more of their child. How old other Dcs are is significant.

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