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am i too 'mumsy'

(11 Posts)
Tini1212 Mon 02-Feb-15 23:20:19

My partner has a 6 year old girl who has just started staying at weekends. She is very clingy with me and we get on really well. When she left I really missed her which my partner thinks only a mother would feel that way. I am told I would make a great mum (I can't have children myself unfortunately). Basically do other mums feel like this or am I over emotional?

PeruvianFoodLover Tue 03-Feb-15 07:55:27

My DH misses my DD when she's not here; I wouldn't call him "mumsie" or even "dadsie" really - your DSD is part of the family, of course you'll miss her!

For your own emotional wellbeing, I would urge caution though; as she grows up, her relationship with you will become different, and some stepmums can feel quite rejected when typical preteen and teen behaviour kicks in.
In the meantime, enjoy what sounds like a delightful relationship with a little girl!

needaholidaynow Tue 03-Feb-15 09:36:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hoobygalooby Tue 03-Feb-15 11:37:06

Maybe your partner should be more supportive and pleased that you get on so well with his DD rather than making you feel over emotional.
It is quite natural to miss her when she goes home. She is part of your family and you have a bond with her.

Ilovenannyplum Tue 03-Feb-15 11:41:10

I do a celebratory dance when my DSC go home. I wish I had the same relationship with them that you have with your DSD.
I think it's nice that you miss her, your husband should be pleased you have such a lovely relationship smile

Goneintohibernation Tue 03-Feb-15 11:41:15

It is not over emotional to miss her when she goes back to her Mum. It is great that you get on well with her, and have a good relationship. I would be wary of thinking of yourself as a Mum to her though, she already has one of those. You will have your own, different, relationship with her,which can only be a positive thing

Arsenic Wed 04-Feb-15 01:18:15

which my partner thinks only a mother would feel that way

That's a slightly unusual thing for him to say. Why do you think he said that?

You aren't her mum, you're her stepmum, which is a lovely and important role in its own right.

daisychain01 Wed 04-Feb-15 12:34:54

I agree Arsenic. OP it would be interesting to know why your DP thinks human attachment is the sole preserve of a DM and that you don't have the capacity to love.

Maybe the expression "blood is thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood" is worth mentioning.

My DSS has been affectionate with me since I first came into his life. He has a strong bond with his DM so one relationship doesn't cancel the other out. They are just different.

Mumsie sounds like it is placing a negative label on it, when it seems you are a force for good in your DSDs life.

OllyBJolly Wed 04-Feb-15 12:43:23

I feel that way after spending a day with my nieces and nephews (most of them!).

"blood is thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood" That's a lovely expression, Daisy Never heard it before.

daisychain01 Wed 04-Feb-15 12:51:26

I seem to have used it a lot over the years Olly smile glad to pass it on!

Wdigin2this Tue 10-Feb-15 09:48:48

Well, I think you're lucky you feel like that and should enjoy it to the full, whatever your partner says...and he, by the way, should be thanking God that you do! The fact you have no children of your own makes a big difference as to your feelings towards this child, but as said above, be careful!! She is only 6 now, but girls particularly (in my experience) change drastically as the get into pre-teens, and seem to re-think their relationships with everybody, not necessarily in a good way.

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