DP is a single dad, been dating for 1.5yrs. I have spent the odd day or weekend with his kids but nothing major as (a) we both wanted to just be a couple for a bit (b) he didn't want to rush into anything with the kids (c) he has supportive family who provide childcare so he uses that time to get a break and to see me.
But for the past few months we have been trying to see whether we could really have a future together, and that means spending time me, DP and his kids. I am just having a really hard time adjusting - obviously I got used to this life where we are just a couple, spend our time together as we want, go out when we want etc. I really really miss my DP which sounds stupid - I see him just as frequently but it is usual for a whole day to pass where we might only get 10 minutes sat down together before one of the kids needs something. Equally a whole day might pass where we don't actually seem to talk to each other - either talking to the kids, about the kids, through the kids, if you know what I mean. It feels like we spent too long without the kids being around, and I got used to that life, and now I feel like I am in a relationship with a completely different man.
I miss the time just the two of us - DP says that in the future he would be happy to have the odd night away again, but that at the moment he wants the focus to be on all of us spending time together as a family, to see if it can work. I understand that but how do I feel happier and stop pining for the life that we had? If we are going to have a future together then I can't live life hoping for a babysitter all the time, I need to learn to be happy with family life. But I find it really dull - the days have never seemed longer and by midday on a Saturday I am usually already counting down the hours until bedtime (/wine).
Tips anyone? How long do I stick at this before accepting that perhaps a man with kids is not the man for me?
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17 replies
mscarlile · 28/01/2015 12:20
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