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Anyone else have this after contact?

(18 Posts)
TheMumsRush Mon 08-Dec-14 10:03:50

My ds (nearly 2) is so sad after the dsc go, I know he's missing them but as he's so young I don't know how to make it better for him. He walks around calling for them sad. Distraction is good but also have day to day things to deal with. Some time it can make him a handful to deal with too. He won't see them for a fortnight now

TheMumsRush Mon 08-Dec-14 10:05:26

Sorry this is on the wrong board but any advice will be appreciated smile

cestlavielife Mon 08-Dec-14 10:58:40

acknowledge his feelings, oh yes I am sad too the dsc have gone - then distract with toys game etc.

show him photos and say look you will see them soon.

AlpacaMyBags Mon 08-Dec-14 11:02:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMumsRush Mon 08-Dec-14 11:18:39

He has a full on weekend with them and they are great playing with him and then nothing. Today I have to wait all day for online shipping so it's gonna be tough, hope it come soon so we can get out.

BigPigLittlePig Mon 08-Dec-14 12:06:15

We have the same here.

No helpful comments, but wine for you x

TheMumsRush Mon 08-Dec-14 12:24:41

Thanks Bigpig

confused79 Mon 08-Dec-14 12:31:02

Does he physically see them go? I never had this with my kids, they have asked once and then carried on with what they were doing. Don't know whether this had anything to do with my kids seeing them go, getting to say goodbye etc... For instance, my partner sometimes takes the kids to drop step children off so they know they have another home BUT will see them again after a few days.
Also, he will eventually establish his own routine and part of that will be knowing that the kids come at weekends.

TheMumsRush Mon 08-Dec-14 12:37:22

Yes they kiss him goodbye, it's to far for him to go with them 2 1/2 all round (and to late). I'm sure it will get better over time, I just feel bad for him after but he will settle back into his routine.

TheMumsRush Mon 08-Dec-14 12:37:52

2 1/2 hrs that is

BertieBotts Mon 08-Dec-14 12:42:18

Just keep reminding him of the facts. Matter of fact. "DSC are at their mummy's house now. They live at their mummy's house on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. They live at our house on Saturday and Sunday. That's five sleeps." Maybe make him a little picture board (thinking magnets with pictures of each child and adult including him maybe?) or a photo-story made into a book. It sounds like he doesn't really understand why they come and go, which is understandable, but you can help him process it by communicating it to him in a way he understands more easily.

Maybe try to have things planned for Mondays too to help ease the transition. A playgroup or having a different friend over, visiting grandparents, even just the two of you going for a coffee or lunch in town.

TheMumsRush Mon 08-Dec-14 12:52:34

Thanks Bertie, I like the picture idea. I might see if they can Skype to smile

needaholidaynow Mon 08-Dec-14 14:32:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wheresthelight Mon 08-Dec-14 14:50:26

My dd is same mumsrush. I find having lots of photos up and talking about them helps. she also has her own photos that she can look at and we go through my phone to look at pictures. no idea if it will help as dd is only 16 months

slkk Mon 08-Dec-14 20:34:54

We have dac and to help him with routines have pictures of the two houses and a photo of dsc' s dm on one house and him and us on the other then the dsc move. This helps as he knows where they are and knows they will come back, especially as our routines are quite tricky. Maybe this would help your ds? It also helps that he knows and like their dm. He still misses them but does enjoy the house being more peaceful and having more mummy time as he is so much younger. Sometimes we draw pictures for them etc when they are not here. However 2 weeks is a long time and we don't generally have that long a gap except in the summer. Hopefully your dsc will miss the mess as he grows up a bit and spends more time playing with other children.

slkk Mon 08-Dec-14 22:39:17

Will miss them less

TheMumsRush Mon 08-Dec-14 22:52:15

grin I did wonder about the mess

daisychainmail Tue 09-Dec-14 09:30:21

My DD was like that at 18 months - 2 but has recently grown out of it and is much less obsessed with DSC, so it might change.

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