going away when DSS is potentially here for a week

[FaithLoveandGrace]

Hi all,

We have DSS every other weekend and half the holidays - which seems to be a standard arrangement. For the summer hols we have every other week, generally monday - monday. There's a conference I'd like to go to which happens to fall in the Summer holidays and will mean going up on the Sunday night and coming back late Friday. I know many people would say it's not my problem DSS being here but I love spending time with him and hate the idea of being away for a week when he's actually here. It's one thing me being in work Monday - Friday whilst he's here, it's another being miles away and so only getting to see him on the Saturday and Sunday - when I'll be washed out and exhausted after the week away. AIBU to ask DP to try to arrange the weeks such that DSS is with his Mum that week? I need to book the conference asap but I know DP and DSS's Mum won't sort out summer holidays until around June next year!

[slkk]

Good idea. Surely is better for everyone to know well in advance anyway to make plans.

[PesoPenguin]

I can't see anything wrong with that plan at all unless the mum
Is difficult and would say no just to spite you.

[purpleroses]

Absolutely fine to ask. As long as you're OK about her saying no if she does have plans.

[FaithLoveandGrace]

They never plan anything this far in advance. Last year they arranged about a week before the summer hols as every time DP asked she just said we'll sort it another time. Hoping I can get DP to enquire soon to at least find out if it's a possibility.

Peso as far as mum's concerned I'm nothing to do with DSS so she could well say no out of spite. I wonder if there's anything DP can say to make it seem like it's for his benefit and not mine...

[purpleroses]

I wonder if there's anything DP can say to make it seem like it's for his benefit and not mine - I'd suggest that you're planning take DSS away on a bit of a holiday for at least some of the time - so best he comes the week that suits.
Or else just be really vague along the lines of "XX week doesn't suite me as well next summer - could we swap for YY week"

It's fair enough really - presumably your DP only gets so much annual leave - so if he takes it with DSS when you're working he'll have less left that you can all spend together.

[FaithLoveandGrace]

Turns out DSS's mum is away with the kids the week I'm away which is good for us. Have actually sorted dates now which has to be a record - in the three years we've been together they've never sorted dates this far in advance!