Christmas nativities on the same day. DP's ex has got the hump with me.(12 Posts)
Well, FWIW I think you and your DP are doing the right thing. DH and I are together, but if two of our DC had conflicting events, we would obviously split up and each go to one of them, so they both had one of us there.
We have 3 DC, so I hope the day never comes when all 3 have conflicting events! I am keen to keep them all at the same school to make things easier!
his ex is an idiot and you guys are doing the right thing!!!
dp's ex regularly gets the hump with for not going green to school stuff but it is always on a day where dd has a very expensive swimming lesson and I refuse to waste the money and miss it for something that really has nothing to do with me! dp will go if he is off work but to be honest kids need to learn that not everything in life is about them and sometimes as much as we want to be there we just can't be. although in this case it sounds like his ex needs that lesson!
Another vote for the right thing.
Shame the ids can't go to see each other with you both, maybe in future years.
We still 'have' to go to school shows on different days from DP's ex. It's more the kids that prefer that though.
Your DPs ex is bonkers! I'm all for parents fostering a positive relationship between their DCs and stepparents, but really - what is she thinking?
As a WSM, I have been subject to abuse for having the audacity to attend an event at the invitation of my DSC, and there is certainly no excuse for that behaviour.
But, as a mum of a DD with a stepmum, I cannot understand the motive or emotion behind your DPs ex's behaviour. I accept DDs stepmum is a part of her life, and support her role, but certainly don't actively expect her to attend DDs events and I certainly wouldn't get shitty if she wasn't there.
Your DPs ex certainly seems to know a lot about the logistics of your family life though; maybe it's time to create a bit more space between you? Is there a need for her to know in advance whether you are attending DSD nativity or not, or what your reasons are for not doing so?
Of course she's being ridiculous if she thought you'd go to her DD's and not your own DS's. Maybe she thought your DP wasn't going to DSD's either and was huffy mainly about that?
Bad luck to have them both on the same day though - I go to most school plays etc that my DSC or my own DC are in - and there are 6 DC/DSC altogether - 4 of whom are into drama so do lots, and I don't think I've ever had a clash of performances. Often I've been able to take DD, or some of the DSC along to watch whoever is performing, which the performer has always loved. So don't get too worried about it happening regularly. I think you've been unlucky.
I would be pissed off if my DH missed ds first play to go to dsc 3rd,4th,5th play, any other play fine, but not the first. DH has been to all the plays, sports days ect...
Your dp ex ibu
We had a worse situation, both my DD and DSS were in the same class at primary school. So all events had DP and his ex and me and my exdh. Awful, hated every moment of it. I would be with my DP, my ex and his ex would sit together. When DP and I spoke to each other we would have dagger looks.
So glad when they went to high school and we asked them to make sure they were not in the same class for anything.
Calico There is a book written by an author I really like called Liane Moriarty with a situation along those lines. It ends in a murder!
Am amused that the two exes sat together. How did that come about? How did they even meet? Did one of them hold up a sign saying "anyone else who hates Calico and Mr Calico?"
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