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Christmas traditions with step kids

(7 Posts)
wheresthelight Wed 19-Nov-14 12:19:48

hey folks I am wondering what you do re family traditions for Christmas (as a caveat things are silly not agreed over contact in spite of it having been agrees in the divorce but I need to prep) as I want to make it special for dss and dsd.

they have woken up with us once before but it was all a huge rush as pil wanted to see the kids as mil was dying and it would be her last Christmas with them but exw wanted them back by 12 for lunch. this will be our first proper Christmas as a family.

I want to start a tradition for dd (15 months) whereby she gets a treat box on Christmas eve in the hope that it might help to alleviate so e of the excitement and help her to sleep in years where she is old enough to understand what it's all about. I want to do a gift box with new pj's, sweets, dvd and hot chocolate but not sure how to introduce with the dsc's as they are older.

they don't really have have any sort of traditions with their mum that dp knows of from his time with them so not sure how to introduce it or whether it will all just be a bit lame for an 11 and 9 year old. any thoughts?

Whatever21 Wed 19-Nov-14 12:37:24

You sound lovely and thoughtful.

I think the treat box idea is a good one - why not ask them to suggest/help with stuff for their SSister and ask the other what they think the other one would like.

Explain it is a tradition in your family and include them.

Shame you are not my DCs SM, last year they got a present off her step mum - how tenuous a link can you get and the prezzies, ex and I had bought them together. Nothing from their own SM, step siblings etc - who were swamped with presents!

wheresthelight Wed 19-Nov-14 12:44:47

Ohh fab idea thanks!!

dp and his exw don't do present buying together mainly cos she buys them stuff with a screen to keep them out of her way and dp prefers things to get things that engage the kids in doing stuff with us or each other.

they have always had mountains of presents here! they had 2 huge gift bags (the ones you could fit a small adult in) last year as we wanted them to feel spoilt as they didn't get to spend the day with their dad and dd did.

I think it is vital that the kids feel like this is their home and that we are all family. and do and I have gone out of our way to make sure all 3 kids have the same amount spent and on stuff they like. I am currently hiding mountains of minecraft and my littlw pony junk!

HesNotAMessiah Wed 19-Nov-14 13:06:39

Extra/early presents on Xmas eve?

Of course they won't think it's lame.

However, I can't see your plan to persuade your 15 month old to stay in bed in later years working at all. In fact giving her a present and then telling her there'll be more the next day might do the opposite.

Our DSC get a stocking on their bed with small toys, puzzles, some sweets, toiletries etc and are under orders not to be up and about making noise til 8. This works fine, and has done since they were younger than your DSC. When they were really young they did come bouncing into the bedroom every Christmas morning at the crack of dawn, that's the fun of being a parent.

I had a fairly strict present opening regime as a child usually timetabled around church and xmas lunch, DSC have inherited two of those - only one present before breakfast (really focusses the mind and get breakfast out the way pdq!) and we put all the family to kids (aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters etc) and DP to DP presents under the tree and we don't open them until after lunch.

Sounds like teasing doesn't it? But it works really well, not so much of a one off wrapping paper massacre as it used to be and keeps the kids around and the fun lasts longer. We asked them a cpl years ago if they wanted to change back seeing as presents were getting fewer but more expensive and they said no.

And we do make sure the DSC all give presents to each other, and now they're older they're expected to shop for them themselves. It's nice to see them actually excited about seeing their presents being opened, the joy of giving !

wheresthelight Wed 19-Nov-14 13:21:04

don't have an issue with the bouncing in first thing but more the getting her to go to bed in the first place but I still loved as a kid and really want to pass it on.

Whatever21 Thu 20-Nov-14 12:40:37

Do not spoil them - it will get harder and more expensive!

No matter how crap it is at their Dads for Xmas, they know there are present limits and we will not break.

We have simple rules for present buying for their Dad - they get to choose 3 things each that they want to do with Dad, think Dad would like to do or wear - v interesting choices and rarely expensive.

I now extend that to the step DCs, they choose something they think the others would like. Again v interesting choices.

We do not buy the SM anything!!

Remember it is going to be a tradition for them aswell.

wheresthelight Thu 20-Nov-14 20:48:41

they aren't spoilt in terms of cost as we just don't have the money! we have a £50 budget for each of them it's just spent wisely so they get lots of presents to unwrap iyswim.

they are aware of the budget and we ask if there's anything specific they want but you know what preteens are like! all shrugged shoulders and "whatever"!

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