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Have your stepkids met your parents?

(14 Posts)
trufflesnout Sun 09-Nov-14 18:51:53

DP & I have been together for a few years, one child together and he has another from a prev. relationship. My family have recently expressed an interested in meeting DSS and I was wondering if anyone's stepchild had met their parents - why or why not, and how it went.

TIA smile

FourthMary Sun 09-Nov-14 18:57:40

Yes my parents have met my dsd's, they refer to them as grandma and grandad but don't call them that to their faces yet, if you get me?

They love going to their house for tea and my parents love seeing them.

riverboat1 Sun 09-Nov-14 19:01:49

Mine have a few times, on weekend visits and/or Xmas. My mum really dotes on him! And they always send him a birthday present.

But it is a little sad for me as my parents and DSS don't share a common language. They can't actually speak to each other directly, without DP or I translating. It does limit things a bit, really, and I feel its not fair on DSS dragging him off to see my parents when he doesn't understand them. Its a shame because otherwise they get along fine and we could have more weekends together.

Confused26 Sun 09-Nov-14 19:30:40

Yep, my mum and step-dad treat DSS and DSD exactly the same as they treat my DS. They have all the kids for days out, to sleep over, Christmas gifts etc.

My dad and my step-mum have met them (my SC live with us 24/7) but they don't really seem too bothered about DSC and don't treat them like they treat DS. I think they feel the step-kids aren't part of the family Ironic really, because my dad sees my son very infrequently however absolutely dotes on his other grandson - my step-sister's (his step-daughter's) son.

chocoraisin Sun 09-Nov-14 20:00:01

My parents have met DP's kids a few times. They treat them exactly as they treat my DC and love the grandparent role. Mostly it's sunday lunch typ stuff, they are great and recognise that me and DP sometimes really need more space when we have the 4 kids together so they offer up their house/garden and cook us lunch to give us a bit of breathing space smile

conversely, I'm yet to meet DP's parents, let alone my DC meeting them! But there is a huge geographical distance there which is the reason why we've not met yet.

WaitingForMe Sun 09-Nov-14 20:05:41

My mum met my stepkids a few months after I did. They call her Nana and she tells people she has three grandchildren (my DSS's and my DS). My brothers are all called Uncle.

I think part of the reason my family are so involved is because DH's ex was an only child and as a result seems happy for her boys to have lots of family so it's not a treading on toes issue (we asked her permission for the boys to call DM, Nana)

purpleroses Sun 09-Nov-14 22:49:14

Certainly. They met them around the time DH and I were deciding to move in together. I'm not surprised your parents want to meet the half brother of their grandchild.

My parents have come to stay and seen DSC here, which i think is easier than taking DSC to visit them, though we did take the younger two to stay for the first time this summer, which went well.

To be fair, I wouldn't say my parents treat them like their own DGC. I have my own DC (their DGC) and they've known them since they were babies. But they're kind to DSC and have enjoyed getting to know them I think. I like that they know the DSC as they're important people in my life.

supersalmon1 Mon 10-Nov-14 16:38:34

My parents adore DP's daughter and treat her the same way they treat their other grandchildren. My DP's daughter also loves my niece and nephew and they play together frequently; it's lovely to watch.

hoobygalooby Wed 12-Nov-14 12:15:28

My parents like my DSC but don't really make a huge effort to see them like they do my own DC. DP's parents are the same with my DC too. For example on DSS's birthday DPs parents and sister will come round to celebrate but my parents don't bother. They give him a card and a £5 gift voucher but don't make a big fuss like they do with mine. it works because DP's parents do the same and nobody feels left out

Frikadellen Wed 12-Nov-14 18:42:00

Butting in.

On my wall is a beautiful wall hanging that was in my grandparents home as I grew up.

I got to know them age 5. they were the parents of my step father.

My youngest daughter is named after my granddad.

My life was enriched by having them both in my life. & I had a close close bond with my granddad. I miss him dearly he was one of the most wonderful people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

Blood doesnt make families. love does.

trufflesnout Wed 12-Nov-14 19:27:51

Thanks for all the answers. DSS is nearly 10 and we have sole care of him. My parents live quite far away (not mainland UK) and when I visit I usually visit alone or with DD since OH is ill.

Part of me thinks it would be easier if OH & I were married since it would feel a natural progression of the relationship. I think I'll talk about it to OH and suggest we could invite them up and sort out a weekend for them to spend with the 4 of us.

Thanks for your stories, if anyone one else stumbles across this thread and feels like adding more then that'd be great smile

robotroy Mon 17-Nov-14 14:33:38

this is a nice thread :-) Will do then!

We DSD sees my parents regularly, they live quite near compared to her dads family. She is treated by all of my family as my kid, which she is. She gets a huge amount of of the relationships with my family, and so do they. Her mum's boyfriend's family also see her regularly. She is very loved by a lot of people, which she absolutely deserves.

caledonianclown Fri 21-Nov-14 21:35:42

Both my sets of parents (my dad and step mum/mum and step dad) have met DSS many times and treat him exactly the same as my DCs. I guess because they're used to a blended family set up and are both on their second marriages it's not difficult for them to accept him as much a part of the family as the blood relations. He calls them Nana/grandpa and runs up to hug them when they arrive the same as my DCs do.

DPs mum when she was alive was also lovely to my DS (her step grandchild) and he called her Grandma. He was very sad when she died and still talks about missing her. He's 6 and she was in his life since he was 3.

I like what was said up thread, blood doesn't make a family, love does.

Perfectlypurple Fri 21-Nov-14 21:41:01

My mum and dad are nan and grandad to my dsd. My nan is nan to her too. All of them treat her as if she was my child.

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