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How old were your step children when you met them?

(24 Posts)
sg2015 Fri 07-Nov-14 14:17:25

Just curious to know how old everyone's sc were when you met them/partners?
I met my partner (ss doesn't see his bm) when ss was 2 and a half!
Just a nosy post really smile

needaholidaynow Fri 07-Nov-14 15:42:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreeSpirit89 Fri 07-Nov-14 17:10:22

DSD was 5 when I meet her.

GemmaTeller Fri 07-Nov-14 17:11:39

6 1/2 months.

I've been her step mum for over 20 yrs.

WestEast Fri 07-Nov-14 17:12:30

She was 4.

Maroonie Fri 07-Nov-14 17:17:20

SS was 7, he is 9 now.
Scary how fast time goes...

Queenofknickers Fri 07-Nov-14 17:19:15

She was 3 and that was 16 years ago.....

happygirl87 Fri 07-Nov-14 17:23:19

4 - 5 yrs ago. Can the people who met their DSCs around 4 and have now known them for decades please come back tell me how great their relationships are?! grin

PesoPenguin Fri 07-Nov-14 17:47:34

6 and now he's nearly 15.

ChiefBillyNacho Fri 07-Nov-14 18:36:34

I can happygirl. Met her when she was 4, she's now 19 and lives with me (and my dp) even though I'm no longer with her dad. She refers to me to others as her mum.

Wifeandstepmum Fri 07-Nov-14 18:45:16

She was 5.
I've heard it takes a year for each year of the child's age when you met them (iyswim) to establish a proper parental role in their lives. I'd says that's probably realistic...

WaitingForMe Fri 07-Nov-14 18:59:44

DSS1 was 4 and DSS2 had just turned 1. There has been a definite difference in how my relationship with them developed - DSS2 has never had any real sense of life without me.

In saying that, while DSS1 and I took longer to bond, he is an absolute delight five years on. He thinks I'm a bit mad because I get a bit teary when he plays with 23 month old DS.

SorrelForbes Fri 07-Nov-14 19:07:27

12 and 13. Going other people's experiences (on here and in RL), I suspect thinsg may have been easier if they'd been younger!

ThatDamnedBitch Fri 07-Nov-14 19:30:51

DSD was 2. She's 22 now, makes me feel old. grin

StepMum87 Fri 07-Nov-14 20:19:37

DSD was 2 1/2 and has just turned 6. It's strange to be reminded that she's already known more of life with me than without.

bonnymiffy Fri 07-Nov-14 21:26:53

DSS was 7, he's now 12 (nearly 13). I used to be the best thing ever! That's changed.... I hope it changes back again but suspect it may take a while!!

ijustwanttobeme Fri 07-Nov-14 22:01:19

DSD was 15, DSS 11 and DSD2 7.

Six weeks after we met, exW said she did not want to have DSCs, so they came to live with DP full time.

22 years later and I'm now step gran to 5.

purpleroses Fri 07-Nov-14 23:10:27

Between 7 and 13. The younger ones were easier to bond with and feel parent-like to. They're 11-17 now, and I get on great with eldest, but still don't really feel like a parent to her. Youngest has only vague memories of a time when I wasn't in his life though

daisychain01 Fri 14-Nov-14 04:07:42

My DSS was 8 when I met him, he is now 17 (big brute of a man!)

I reckon if you ask him if he remembers life without Daisy, he probably couldn't!

thebluehen Sat 15-Nov-14 06:57:51

Between the ages of 5 and 12. They're now 11-18. The eldest has been hardest to bond with. Youngest can't remember life without me and does seem more accepting.

SaltedCaramels Sat 15-Nov-14 07:27:42

12 and 15. 12 yr old is now 19 and lives with us. we get on fine but I've never tried to have a parental role as she is in close contact with her mum, and my DH is a great dad. I don't actually feel like a step mum at all, mor like a flat mate!

riverboat1 Sat 15-Nov-14 08:21:32

He was 4, now 9.

He doesn't remember the time when his parents were together, as he was only 1 when they split, and I don't think he really much remembers the intervening time before I came on the scene either. Which I tend to think makes things much easier for me, as I have never had to deal with suspicion or resentment. He was young enough when I met him that it was just a bonus to have someone extra around who would play with him!

smilingthroughgrittedteeth Sat 15-Nov-14 08:33:31

Dss was 7 and dsd was 12, I definitely agree the youngest was easier to bond with although now im closer to the eldest.

they are 11 and 16 now

googoodolly Sat 15-Nov-14 08:35:41

One and four. Now nearly three and five and a half smile

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