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Meeting partners children from prev relationship

(6 Posts)
VacantExpression Fri 07-Nov-14 13:46:43

Hi,

My sister asked me for advice the other day and I have no idea- she will be meeting her partner's children (age 3 and 7) soon and wanted advice on the best ways to make all go smoothly, she wants them to like her!

Things will be taken slowly, relationship is serious they have been together a year.

Any tips?

VanitasVanitatum Fri 07-Nov-14 13:55:15

Be herself! Don't try to be a parent. I was terrified meeting my ex's kids but it was fantastic, they were so nice to me. Have something that they can do/play with etc; we had a new pet rabbit that they hadn't met yet and frankly they were much more interested in the rabbit than me smile really took the pressure off.

Maroonie Fri 07-Nov-14 17:24:46

Yeah I'd say don't try too hard, or build it up too much in case it sets her up for disappointment. (Not that it will be disappointing but a nice day can seem a bit flat if there's an expectation of an amazing day if you know what I mean)
An activity can help create conversation even if it's just a game all 4 of them can play.

purpleroses Fri 07-Nov-14 23:17:35

Meet then at the park or somewhere where there's something to do other than make conversation. And be prepared that her DP may be feeling quite nervous and pulled in different directions, so may not feel comfortable giving her any physical reassurance just when she feels she needs it.

But 3 and 7 are great ages and usually quick to connect with anyone who'll take an interest in what they're doing

alwaystryingtobeafriend Sat 08-Nov-14 07:35:49

My dsc were a bit older when i met them. But not much. Tell you sister to be herself. If dp loves her then i would think that he feels she is worthy of being in his kids lives iyswim. Dp would never have stayed with me if he thought we all couldnt get along.

It was easter when i met my dsc so i took along easter eggs and a new game we could all play. It really helped ease us all in.

I also knew not to expect much PDA from dp as it might be weird for the kids to see daddy kissing or cuddling someone that isnt mummy.

I hope all goes well. Xx

purpleroses Sat 08-Nov-14 08:23:21

I think my DP summed it up beautifully before I met his DD saying "well you're lovely, and she's lovely, so of course it will go well". It's not that simple of course but a nice way of looking at it

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