Apologies as this is my first post and am starting with a rant! And a long one at that but any advice would be much appreciated.
I have two children of my own (12 and 14) and my partner also has two children (2 and 8). We have mine with me full time and they go to their dads every other weekend, we then have my partners two on the weekend mine are here so we can have family time together. Everyone gets a long really well, the three girls sleep in the same room and they love it.
It has come to our second xmas together. I am very amicable with my ex, we swap each year, one having them xmas eve till boxing day and the other new year and visa versa. I feel this best as no matter what I think about their dad he needs to have that magic of xmas eve/day with his children as well as me, even if they don’t believe in santa anymore!
My partners ex is very different, although I know I cannot expect my partner and his ex wife to get along as I do with my ex you would at least expect her to try and put her children and their relationship with their biological father in the same league as her own. We didn’t dare ask for xmas eve to xmas day as we knew this would be too much for her, however asked if we could have them xmas day (they live 50 mins away), this was agreed but no times. We have now asked and she has said we can pick them up at 1pm, right smack bang in the middle is xmas dinner, my partner would have to leave at 12:00 and wouldn’t get home till at least 14:00. Part of me is just thinking stuff it we will just have xmas dinner for tea instead but how is that fair on my children. We always used to go to my mums but I have sacrificed that (she lives 45 mins away in the opposite directed to my partners ex) and that is what they are used too, but I suppose as they are older I can talk them round. If my partner even mentions my two then he’s seen to be putting them first, so using the fact we want to spend time as a family at xmas once every other year will not go down well with her.
When we have fought this she then launches into a tirade of abuse that my partner doesn’t see his daughters on their birthdays/easter so why should xmas matter. What she fails to realise is that the children get two birthdays, two easter’s and two xmas’s with two family units as do mine, this includes parties etc. The difference with xmas is that is not just about one person it’s about a whole family.
He’s so great with the kids, his own and mine and it breaks my heart to see him so upset, while the man she left him for gets those special magical Christmas moment with his daughters and my two.
Its silly things I suppose, not allowing us to buy them clothes was another thing. I am so glad that my relationship with my ex is OK, we have our ups and downs but never to this extent. There really is no talking to her, she won’t listen to reason.
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Christmas Access - apologies its a long one :(
12 replies
nikibockerglory1981 · 06/11/2014 12:47
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