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Can a relationship really work when the SM & SC don't get on?

(6 Posts)
mamafos Tue 28-Oct-14 15:31:04

Can a relationship really work when the SM & SC don't get on?

SingleForever Tue 28-Oct-14 15:33:08

No. Didn't in my case at least.

guitarosauras Tue 28-Oct-14 15:36:57

why can't they get on?
no imo and as the other parent I wouldn't want it to.

loopylou9 Tue 28-Oct-14 16:41:23

I think it depends on a lot of other factors.
Eg the age of the children, how regularly DSC visit, whether you can at least tolerate each other.
So if your DSC live 500 miles away and you only see them 3 times a year, they're in their teens and don't need much parenting from you and you can tolerate them and bite your tongue over issues until they've gone home and you've got an otherwise good relationship with your OH who you're able to discuss issues with in a calm and controlled way then yes I think it can work.

However, if you're DSC live down the road, you have 50/50 care of them, you can't stand them, they're a nuisance and you dread them coming to your home and you can't see a way to change the situation then I'd say the odds of the relationship surviving are pretty slim.

I think a lot of it does depend on how your relationship is the rest of the time, whether the good times out weigh the bad.

PesoPenguin Wed 29-Oct-14 16:27:22

Yes I think it depends on many things, but you do need to be able to be civil to each other as a bare minimum.

daisychain01 Fri 31-Oct-14 10:40:28

Probably need more information as circumstances vary massively as do pain thresholds!

Also the support received by the parent of the DSCs, in my case my DPs support of me has been crucial, although my DSS has been a joy, so I have been very lucky. But there have been a lot of times when discipline has been needed where DPs backing means we have been a united front, and in the long run it has benefitted DSS because he sees consistency and stability. If the DSCS sees the DSM (for example) giving one message and their DF saying something different or minimising the DSMs contribution, that causes huuuuge tensions.

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