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Is this me being silly?

(32 Posts)
needaholidaynow Thu 31-Jul-14 16:53:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nomoretether Thu 31-Jul-14 18:11:15

Just book it. I'm sure salon owners see young girls in with mothers, stepmothers, aunts, cousins, older sisters etc all the time.

bluebell8782 Thu 31-Jul-14 19:05:04

Hiya.. In the nicest possible way. . You are being silly! Just book it. Just because you're not mum doesn't mean you can't share something together. . It's not wrong. Mum doesn't own all 'firsts' or all things girly. . If SD is happy that is good enough. Even if you come across judgemental looks. . Don't sweat it..it aint your problem.. They are the ones that will have no experience of these sort of things. Just enjoy it for what it is.. You are not pretending anything.

bluebell8782 Thu 31-Jul-14 19:05:36

Hiya.. In the nicest possible way. . You are being silly! Just book it. Just because you're not mum doesn't mean you can't share something together. . It's not wrong. Mum doesn't own all 'firsts' or all things girly. . If SD is happy that is good enough. Even if you come across judgemental looks. . Don't sweat it..it aint your problem.. They are the ones that will have no experience of these sort of things. Just enjoy it for what it is.. You are not pretending anything.

ICanSeeTheShardFromHere Thu 31-Jul-14 19:42:44

J

ICanSeeTheShardFromHere Thu 31-Jul-14 19:42:44

Jus

ICanSeeTheShardFromHere Thu 31-Jul-14 19:42:44

Just

ICanSeeTheShardFromHere Thu 31-Jul-14 19:42:58

Wo

ICanSeeTheShardFromHere Thu 31-Jul-14 19:45:44

Wtf is going on???!!!!!

Sorry.

I meant to say: just book it. No one will bat an eyelid. I've had pedicures with my step daughter and it was a nice thing to do.

I find it funny when people get awkward about our relationship to one another. Like shop keepers telling her to 'be good for mummy', or whatever, and then looking at me and clocking she's obviously not mine (we look very different).

Fuck what people think.

NatashaBee Thu 31-Jul-14 19:49:44

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marne2 Thu 31-Jul-14 19:58:53

I have taken my dsd out loads of times, took her to the theatre for her birthday and several shopping trips. Some people just assume I'm her mum or her big sister and we just shrug it off, who cares what people think, I don't really try and be her mum and when we go out we are more like 'friends' than step mother and daughter.

Take her out and enjoy it xx

needaholidaynow Thu 31-Jul-14 20:09:00

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NatashaBee Thu 31-Jul-14 20:27:21

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NatashaBee Thu 31-Jul-14 20:29:47

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MirandaWest Thu 31-Jul-14 20:49:24

I don't wear makeup much at all. My XHs girlfriend wears make up more often and it really wouldn't bother me if my DD did make up things with her, or went and had a pedicure. I am very happy when she's staying at XHs house when DD as she's likely to do great things with DDs hair that I can't do smile
I remember the first time she did a French plait in DDs hair that XH was worried that I wouldn't be happy. He didn't say and was surprised I guessed (given his ability with hair I found this quite funny grin).
But overall I really wouldn't worry about it smile

robotroy Thu 31-Jul-14 21:19:50

I think its really awful that this kind of phrase and mindset exists of 'trying to take mum's place', it doesn't really exist where you hear men saying that about step dads ever.

I've yet to meet a step parent who wants to 'steal' someone else's kid, thats weird and creepy who does that ever?!?!?! You are growing a family and friendship and you want to do something fun together.

My SD loves me so much sometimes I think she will burst. Her loving me doesn't take anything from her mum. She's not confused about what everyone's place is. Its something extra she gets in her life, she deserves it for all the bad sides of having seperated parents brings her.

Just follow your instinct and don't be embarrased. Wr used to giggle if people said something about 'mummy' but I happens so much we dondon't notice now anf it doesn't matter what a stranger thinks. If its a longer conversation we'll explain bit honestly no ones gives.

MirandaWest Thu 31-Jul-14 21:37:17

Also if someone thought that XHs gf was DDs mum it wouldn't bother me. DD knows I'm her mum - I'm glad she has lots of people in her life.

Alita7 Thu 31-Jul-14 21:38:41

I agree just book it. If they realise she isn't your child, by her not calling you mum then you could be any female adult whose close to her it shouldn't matter.

She deserves to experience nice things with all parents and step parents smile people can put their options up their arses particularly when so many people are step parents themselves!

RubyrooUK Thu 31-Jul-14 21:44:50

Robotroy says it all.

As I have a great relationship with both my stepmum and stepdad, it never bothers me if someone assumes they are my parent. I assume people will think we are doing things together as we care about each other as family.

Blended families are pretty common now. I normally assume people are out doing things with their step children or step parents because they like them! It wouldn't ever occur to me to think "oh she's her stepmum - she's trying to take the place of her mum"; I think "oh they're having a nice time".

Maybe83 Thu 31-Jul-14 21:46:55

Book it my dd and her sm do things with her sm dd and with out my regularly.

They go the cinema shopping girlie nights in...my dd really appreciate s the things she does for her. She does little thing s just I suppose to keep building a bond wit her as she gets older.

For example my dd despise s spag bol but has eat it for years in her dads as her sm cooks it. When her dad aasked why she never asked for something else she said she didn't want to be rude. No sm make s her a different pasta dish she may love her for ever just for that!

You will probably really enjoy it just being the two of you

needaholidaynow Thu 31-Jul-14 21:54:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarmiteMania Thu 31-Jul-14 21:58:30

If my dd's step mum did something like this with her I'd be delighted she wanted to make the effort! My dd did not chose to have divorced parents; all I want is for her to be surrounded by people who like her and are lovely to her. Off you go!

needaholidaynow Thu 31-Jul-14 22:01:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maybe83 Thu 31-Jul-14 22:05:49

Funny you should mention Chinese buffet we have a really popular one in the town we live dd sm and her dd go often on a Saturday afternoon if ex is working. .funny I wouldn't take dd there as its kind of their thing.

Do she ll be delighted!

robotroy Thu 31-Jul-14 22:07:36

I think its really awful that this kind of phrase and mindset exists of 'trying to take mum's place', it doesn't really exist where you hear men saying that about step dads ever.

I've yet to meet a step parent who wants to 'steal' someone else's kid, thats weird and creepy who does that ever?!?!?! You are growing a family and friendship and you want to do something fun together.

My SD loves me so much sometimes I think she will burst. Her loving me doesn't take anything from her mum. She's not confused about what everyone's place is. Its something extra she gets in her life, she deserves it for all the bad sides of having seperated parents brings her.

Just follow your instinct and don't be embarrased. Wr used to giggle if people said something about 'mummy' but I happens so much we dondon't notice now anf it doesn't matter what a stranger thinks. If its a longer conversation we'll explain bit honestly no ones gives.

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