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School runs. Can't be in 2 places at once.

(158 Posts)
needaholidaynow Tue 13-May-14 23:18:41

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needaholidaynow Sat 17-May-14 09:46:44

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Inertia Sat 17-May-14 08:58:53

I agree that your DP needs to have the conversation about holiday care arrangements soon, so that DSD's mum can book holiday clubs etc. Will DP even be entitled to any holiday time so soon after starting the job ?

Inertia Sat 17-May-14 08:58:27

I agree that your DP needs to have the conversation about holiday care arrangements soon, so that DSD's mum can book holiday clubs etc. Will DP even be entitled to any holiday time so soon after starting the job ?

needaholidaynow Fri 16-May-14 13:45:06

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purpleroses Fri 16-May-14 13:20:24

Sounds like your DP handled it well.

I would tell the ex ASAP about no longer being able to cover her days in the summer. Don't know what it's like where you live, but here there are lots of holiday clubs, activities, etc for DCs to do in the summer. Your DSD is a good age for them and would probably enjoy them. Presumably some of the summer will be covered anyway with family holidays? A lot of people split summers up into whole weeks with either parent - rather than chop each week in half. It tends to be much easier to book holiday clubs in whole weeks (as some only run that way) rather than trying to get childcare for 2 days per week. So you might want to think about whether you'd be prepared to do that.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 16-May-14 11:43:29

Do tell ex ASAP about summer holidays as she may need to book the clubs now.

Peacesword Fri 16-May-14 11:33:23

Oh .... something got missed in the middle!! Having someone to help pick dd up at the end of the holiday club is really helpful is what it's meant to read.

Peacesword Fri 16-May-14 11:31:47

I get that you might feel like that. There are lots of options available in the summer holidays, so your dp isn't the only option while your dsd's mum works.

I run into problems with dd as generally the holiday clubs start later and finish earlier than the term time providers do. Having someone to A I have a bf (don't live together) now and he will help out with things like that, but if xh and his gf were more amenable and I had no-one else, it might be something that I would ask xh or his gf to help with. After all, if I can work more hours, and have a better income, it's better for dd.

needaholidaynow Fri 16-May-14 11:19:35

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needaholidaynow Fri 16-May-14 11:17:27

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TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 16-May-14 11:14:02

I think it's perfectly fair for her to sort "holiday clubs" on her own days. Or a different arrangement in the holidays might suit both - one week on one week off rather than split days.

Peacesword Fri 16-May-14 11:07:43

I think how the two parents cover school holidays now that your dp is working is something else they will need to discuss. I suppose as he is now working she will be getting more maintenance, so it wouldn't necessarily impact on her financially if she has to pay for holiday clubs during her time.

It might be though that between them they can work out their annual leave and how holidays are going to be covered.

Is it just the days she would normally be with her mum that you're not keen on helping with?

needaholidaynow Fri 16-May-14 10:58:02

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gamerchick Fri 16-May-14 10:47:35

Has he actually broached this subject with his ex yet? you may just be overthinking it and annoying yourself for no reason.

needaholidaynow Fri 16-May-14 10:45:20

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swissfamily Fri 16-May-14 09:17:45

Haven't got time to read the whole post but I've been there. When DS started school we sent him to a different one that DSD was at. They started finished at the same time...

We used after school clubs; they took it in turns (DH had 50:50 week on week off contact at the time). So....and we were lucky the schools let us do this; every other week DSD did M-W-F at breakfast club while DS did T-Th and DSD did T-Th at after school club while DS did M-W-F.

It didn't cost a fortune (breakfast club was £1 with breakfast included!) and kind of worked OK-ish. Not ideal for the kids but not awful either.

I hated it and ended up feeling really resentful of the amount of running around I was doing for DSD. It lasted two years before I insisted DH make some changes to his working hours!

Peacesword Fri 16-May-14 08:16:38

Good call. I agree Mary's suggestion is really sensible.

shoppingfrenzy Thu 15-May-14 07:45:50

Mary is right I think. If you have options for childcare all mapped out when youvspeak to DP's ex, it will come across much more as giving her the option, first refusal, rather than making a demand.

shoppingfrenzy Thu 15-May-14 07:45:31

Mary is right I think. If you have options for childcare all mapped out when youvspeak to DP's ex, it will come across much more as giving her the option, first refusal, rather than making a demand.

MaryWestmacott Wed 14-May-14 19:13:09

That sounds like a good decision made! I would explore child care options (prices, if there's spaces etc) before talking to exp because if she asks what the alternative is, you can have an informed discussion about the actual options.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Wed 14-May-14 18:03:09

Glad you are making progress!

needaholidaynow Wed 14-May-14 17:31:52

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SpottieDottie Wed 14-May-14 17:27:52

Yes, I realise that. However, if for some reason they were at different schools presumably she'd use the after school club. I think that is the solution in this case really, it's her DP's responsibility to collect his DSD and if he can't because he is working then he needs to sort out the after school club or a child minder?

needaholidaynow Wed 14-May-14 17:27:16

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TheDoctrineOfSnatch Wed 14-May-14 17:13:53

If they were still together, the ex would have been involved in the discussion about whether DP should take the job, if he should ask for flexible working on certain days whether it would be good for DSD to go to a CM a couple of evenings so ex could catch up at work or home etc. If DH or I are contemplating taking on work, we absolutely discuss how that might work for us as a family.

Plus no-one would have to be in two places at once.

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