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School runs. Can't be in 2 places at once.

(158 Posts)
needaholidaynow Tue 13-May-14 23:18:41

Not looking forward to DP putting this to his ex, but...

DP has been offered a job, and we are absolutely ecstatic as he has been unemployed for a while now. Best news we've had for a while!

DS1 has started nursery recently and he has settled in really well. He absolutely loves it. It is also a very special time for me as I enjoy taking him and picking him up. He finishes at 3:30 every day.

DP has DSD 3/4 nights a week, which involves school pick ups. DP has obviously been Picking her up and taking her on his days and I have done it on a few occasions, but can't for him now as I have to pick DS1 up.

DP's job means that he will not be able to do any school runs at all. His ex works 9-3 everyday, so whilst she cannot take DSD to school she is available to pick her up as school finishes at 3:30. She manages to get there on her days, so would DP be unreasonable to ask her to pick DSD up on his days as well, meaning every day she will have to do it? I don't think it is fair or reasonable to expect me to do it as I an not available due to picking DS1 up.

The nursery is about 20 mins away by foot from DSD's school. There is no other nursery nearby the school, and plus the nursery is nearby to us so it made sense that he goes there. I can't be in 2 places at once and seeing as both DS and DSD finish at 3:30 what can I possibly do? I can take DSD to school no problem, it's just the picking up that I can't do.

I could pick DSD up from her mum's on my way home from picking DS up. It makes financial sense for DP to take this job. It will benefit the children and surely that's a good thing?

I'm just waiting for the "Needaholiday should have to do it" "Nursery education isn't compulsory" "can't she get her dad to pick DS up while she goes for DSD?" (bearing in mind my dad works) from ILs and possibly DP's ex.

Peacesword Fri 16-May-14 11:31:47

I get that you might feel like that. There are lots of options available in the summer holidays, so your dp isn't the only option while your dsd's mum works.

I run into problems with dd as generally the holiday clubs start later and finish earlier than the term time providers do. Having someone to A I have a bf (don't live together) now and he will help out with things like that, but if xh and his gf were more amenable and I had no-one else, it might be something that I would ask xh or his gf to help with. After all, if I can work more hours, and have a better income, it's better for dd.

Peacesword Fri 16-May-14 11:33:23

Oh .... something got missed in the middle!! Having someone to help pick dd up at the end of the holiday club is really helpful is what it's meant to read.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 16-May-14 11:43:29

Do tell ex ASAP about summer holidays as she may need to book the clubs now.

purpleroses Fri 16-May-14 13:20:24

Sounds like your DP handled it well.

I would tell the ex ASAP about no longer being able to cover her days in the summer. Don't know what it's like where you live, but here there are lots of holiday clubs, activities, etc for DCs to do in the summer. Your DSD is a good age for them and would probably enjoy them. Presumably some of the summer will be covered anyway with family holidays? A lot of people split summers up into whole weeks with either parent - rather than chop each week in half. It tends to be much easier to book holiday clubs in whole weeks (as some only run that way) rather than trying to get childcare for 2 days per week. So you might want to think about whether you'd be prepared to do that.

needaholidaynow Fri 16-May-14 13:45:06

Yes I think it's best to let her know now regarding summer holidays. Usually during the summer holidays because its so long, they do the one week with mum, one week with dad arrangement. Easter and Christmas holidays are obviously a little bit different and more flexible due to DP and his ex obviously wanting their daughter with them for Christmas and Easter, but DSD generally doesn't spend one week here one week at her mum's during those holidays as well as the normal half terms in February, May and October.

So summer holidays would be fairly easy for her to arrange childcare in weekly blocks eery other week rather than the odd day here and there. It's just the other holidays throughout the year that it might end up being 2 days at kids club, 3 days at our house, etc..

Inertia Sat 17-May-14 08:58:27

I agree that your DP needs to have the conversation about holiday care arrangements soon, so that DSD's mum can book holiday clubs etc. Will DP even be entitled to any holiday time so soon after starting the job ?

Inertia Sat 17-May-14 08:58:53

I agree that your DP needs to have the conversation about holiday care arrangements soon, so that DSD's mum can book holiday clubs etc. Will DP even be entitled to any holiday time so soon after starting the job ?

needaholidaynow Sat 17-May-14 09:46:44

I'm not sure Inertia, it's something he will have to find out. He will be training so they might be a bit strict for the first couple of months.

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