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In need of a rant.....

(5 Posts)
Letitgoletitgo Fri 09-May-14 19:01:55

Why can my ex not accept that as he walked out on me and 2dcs over two years ago, he cannot be a part of every little thing in their lives?!

Might sound stupid, but two weeks ago the "dummy fairy" came for my 2yr old dd. A really big deal for her, she was very attached to her dummy and I had a few nights of crying and begging for it back to deal with. Told ex about it all of course, suggested he just throw any dummies at his away and not mention it.

He's just picked up DCs for the weekend, and the first thing he starts discussing with dd is how they need to write a letter to the dummy fairy when they get back. I mean really?! It's taken almost two weeks for her to forget about it, and now we gave to do it all over again? Just reminding her what she's missing?!

What is going to happen in the future when the tooth fairy comes? Will there be a repeat visit, sans tooth, at dads two weeks after the event?!

Sorry, maybe I am being ridiculous and this is perfectly normal. Obviously Santa comes to two houses...... Don't know why it annoys me so much really, just sort of feels controlling, desperate.... Oh well. Sorry, rant over!

alita7 Fri 09-May-14 19:11:17

you've included him in the decisions, by telling him about it, I can't see why he'd purposely make it harder for you (and more importantly dd) just to make a point, cos that's what it sounds like he's done.
You're right, whether it's right or wrong, good or bad, he's not the resident parent and can't be there for everything anymore, and trying to do everything twice just for his benefit isn't good for the kids.
maybe try having a chat with him, see if there's anything he would particularly like to do with her, or help with and see if you can make it possible for him to at least help with part of it on his terms.

Neverendingnappies Fri 09-May-14 23:15:38

sorry but ypu have not included him in the decision, you have informed him of your decision and actions. He is trying to be a part of it by talking to dc about it and granted he has done it badly but he is teeing to be a party of it.

Next time, tell him before hand and give him a role to play in it. it doesn't have to be a big part but let him be involved.

Neverendingnappies Fri 09-May-14 23:16:50

so many spelling mistakes, not enough wine. Sorry grin

Cuppachaplz Wed 21-May-14 15:45:19

I think if you are discussing decisions and letting him know what's going on, you are doing the best you can. Why is it that exes want yo make things so fecking awkward?
If it help, my ex walked out when DH was 2. We have always had the vague understanding that the tooth fairy visits the house that us slept in that nigh ( and that night only). Similarly with Xmas. His stocking presents are from Santa, and are delivered to the house he slept in on Xmas eve. Other presents / big presents etc are from mam or dad.
It's worked so far, and he is 11 next month smile

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