Well, it's that time again.

[TheMumsRush]

Time for me to be in the wrong and made to feel like a stranger. That's all

[alita7]

Do you want to talk about it mums?

[TheMumsRush]

I'm ok thanks, things have just changed over the years. Dsd was closer to me but I can feel her changing. She's picking up on her mums resentment (she has told me as much). I use to not like asking the dsc to do things like help tidy or point out if they were playing up. I use to go through DH because I wanted them to like me. DH got fed up with it and told me to be more vocal, so I started doing that and he jumps to the defends and I end up looking stupid (then get smug looks). No I just give up. I don't get involved other than to cook/clean. And I just detach

[alita7]

So basically he can't be bothered to discipline them/ doesn't like having to as he wants to be cool dad but he doesn't like you doing it because you're not the parent... totally fair obviously :/

I would say to him either you get support from him if you say something or he let's you tell him what you're unhappy with and does it himself - or you won't interact with the family.

[TheMumsRush]

Discipline them, but sometimes he can be a bit lazy and will just let them get away with stuff, and it irritates me. Other thing that don't bother him, do bother me so I end up the bad guy when he jumps the the defence.

[TheMumsRush]

Well, DH and I have just rowed. Something happened with dss 13 & ds 1 dss is unhappy ds has gone to bed I think but DH won't tell me what's gone on, he's too tired. Had a so at me for asking questions and he's stormed off. Still having a oh at me but when I respond he says "see! You don't shut up!". Pissed off and hate these weekends.

[TheMumsRush]

I should add, the kids all share a room

[alita7]

He shouldn't be refusing to tell you what gone on with your own child!

[FreeSpirit89]

Oh mums.

Sounds awful for you, a total lack of respect. :

[TheMumsRush]

It will be ok tomorrow. Fridays are always stressful. Everyone is tired. Now let's hope the baby doesn't wake them up and vies versa

[TheMumsRush]

Well it didn't get much better, got "told off" by DH for noticing dsd was eating fish, she claims to hate it so it was a positive thing until he came, caught the tail end and had a go at me for making a fuss!! Really laid into me! Apparently dsd is told all meat is chicken otherwise she won't eat it!! I'm now in my room watching a film and having a wine. They can sort themselves out! Cheers everyone

[alita7]

He sounds horrendously snappy and touchy to me!!

[TheMumsRush]

Yes but only EOW

[Kaluki]

Why are you putting up with this?
Even if it is just every other weekend it's still wrong!!!
He is an arse!

[shey02]

God, I feel your pain. Dp is always so stressed out during his EOW's, unfortunately the children constantly test and punish him. And he does not do anything about it. Doing himself and the kids a massive disservice I feel. But of course, I cannot tell him that, he is hyper-sensitive, he will not see it and that's another thread entirely! Roll on Sunday night Mums, two weeks of bliss for you coming up!

[yoyo27]

It is such a shame that this stuff happens and so many step parents are made to feel this way.

My step daughter just turned her back on me out of rudeness while I was talking to her. Nice

[whilewildeisonmine]

I have a DP who turns into a complete arse EOW too. I feel for you.

[whilewildeisonmine]

Yoyo, yes it is a shame

[alita7]

My problem is the opposite- he's too laid back and I get all stressed because I have to clean the house so its nice for the kids coming round!

[BuzzLightbulb]

It's not fun is it?

I have a bag half packed after last night. Long story ending up with dsd unloading both barrels, f and c words, the lot.

DP did nothing so I asked her if she could now see why I say she doesn't back me up and any reason I shouldn't just hit the local Travelodge for a night or two for some peace and quiet.

[Tappergirl]

I have this all the time but they live with us FT, 16 and 18. Life has never been so stressful. Walking on eggshells and all that.....

[alita7]

Don't get me wrong I LOVE spending time with them, I wouldn't live with dsd 3 if I didn't. But I don't like the fact that dp will not help tidy up enough before they come, he simply washed up 75% of what was there and buggered off to see friend last Friday before picking dsd 3 up from school. I did the whole house including dsds bedroom. Dsd 1 and 2 are lovely but so many times I almost tell him if he doesn't help me then they can't come!

[TheMumsRush]

That feeling is setting in, it's been so nice, now its creeping back. I just know I'm bound to do something wrong. Best get my egg shells walking shoes out

[theironinglady123]

Mumsrush - you can't live like that, even if it is only EOW! Are they with you this weekend?

How old are DSC?

[shey02]

That sinking feeling Mums, yes, me too, we must be on the same schedule......... Well, I've fucked up already, how about you?

[TheMumsRush]

Kids are 7 & 13, I haven't messed up this weekend and we had an extra night! mostly due to some major detaching and I'm leaving it to DH now so he can't jump to their defence.