Worried about what my baby will call me.(16 Posts)
Hi I'm only 8 weeks pregnant but this is probably one of those silly pregnancy worries but it has occured to me that my baby might not automatically call me Mummy and it's important to me that I am called that :P
This is because my DSD lives with us full time and she obviously calls me by my first name not Mum or Mummy, though I do all the things a Mum would do for her, she has a real Mum so rightly she calls her Mum not me.
Now obviously DP also calls me by my first name- so I'm worried that I'll have to make a huge amount of effort to get my child to say Mummy- as they will hear my first name all the time- and I have no other children for them to copy, though I'm sure DP will get on board and refer to me as Mummy when talking to the baby.
Has any one got any experience of this sort of situation?
My daughter called me Harriet for the same reason. I was fine with it. Later when she went to nursery at the age of 3 she began calling me Mummy because she wanted to be like the other kids, and that's what they called their mothers.
(Actually my child called me Daddy when she was very very small. It was her first all-purpose word for a parent.)
I think the important thing is that they know you are there for them - and are their mother - not what they call you.
How old is your DSD? DH and I have always used each other's names when addressing each other, but refer to each other as mummy and daddy when talking to the dc, that's where they learn what to call you. As long as your DP talks to your baby about you as 'mum/mummy', they'll pick it up, and if your DSD is old enough to understand that you are 'firstname' to her, but mum/mummy to the baby she can refer to you as that too.
Dsd is 10 and im sure she will say 'your mummy' to baby- but i don't know if that will be enough for baby to understand or learn to call me mummy.
I see what you're saying Harriet, but to me it just seems so important to me, if a little silly, especially because dp gets called Daddy and it sounds so sweet :P It's just something I can't wait to hear!
Bless your heart [sympathy] Your baby will call you mummy. It really will. Everyone will call you "mummy" in front of it, and your husband will, and even your DSD will say "mummy" when referring to you I'm sure. Don't worry for a second xx
My DD calls me mama (and sometimes dada) I don't think she even realises I have another name at the moment (she's 22 months)
Thanks for the reassurance guys It's a little less worrying now
What I really am struggling to do is not tell dsd yet :P We want to tell them all together and annoyingly my scan is the Thursday before the weekend we don't have them so I have to wait ages afterwards :P Another silly thing hehe
My DSD has stayed with us regularly and always called me by my first name. My DS arrived when she was nearly 3 and has always called me Mummy. Same for my DD who followed afterwards.
Sometimes DSD calls me Mummy by mistake. That happens far more than either DS or DD ever calling me by first name.
I'd definitely wait for the scan until you tell them. 9 months is such a long time for kids to wait anyway I advocate putting it off as long as possible!
Our DC call me mummy in one language, DH daddy in another and all other family members have respective names in the languages. I always refer to DH by his chosen name when speaking to them and never as daddy and so they just do. It has never been a problem. It will be fine and good luck and congrats on your pregnancy.
My DSD was 10 when dd1 was born, and she also lived with us. She calls me by my first name. it was never a problem with dd1 (or dd2 either). Whenever someone (DH, DSD, my mum etc) was passing the baby over to me they would always say, "Go to mummy", or "Here's mummy". So she always saw me referred to as mummy, and didn't really realise I had another name until she was older.
One thing I really liked about my young daughter's decision to call me Harriet is that it emphasised how close she and my stepchildren were. It seemed to reinforce the fact they were all siblings together. Whereas if I'd been 'Mum' to my daughter and 'Harriet' it would have drawn attention to the differences in the relationships - as if my daughter was more 'one of the family' than my stepkids were. (Obviously my stepkids called their mother Mum.) Because of the age gap my duahger had a particular way of pronouncing my name, that the older two didn't, and I have very fond memories of her hearing her say it.
Overall I think there are all sorts of ways in which babies choose what they do, and a lot of the time it is easier to go with the flow.
My own mother didn't want to be called Mum or Mummy, and I always had to call her a different (old-fashioned, not English) word which sticks in my throat to this day. Which might be why I was happy to let my child choose what to call me.
I've had the same worry too, glad I'm not the only one! I don't want to be called another name or by my first name by my own child.
I'm sure it'll be fine in the end.
Nerdy bird it feels important doesn't it- and as silly and maybe a little selfish as it sounds, dp already gets 3 lovely girls to call him Daddy, I deserve for my little one to call me Mummy- it's a very special thing to be called! Especially as I do all the Mummy things for dsd as well and her Mum really is awful (won't go into details but she was removed from her by ss for a reason) and while I don't want her to call me Mummy, I really want my own to!
It's your DP that will need to teach the baby to call you mummy. It can be an issue (if it bothers you) - my DD has a friend who refers to her dad by his first name, learned from older half-sisters who weren't his. But if your DP always calls you "mummy" when talking to the baby/toddler they will learn to use that term. You may find the DSC pick up on it and copy your DP and do the same when talking to your DC.
They do make their own minds up when they get a bit older though.
Congratulations by the way!
I had the same worry. My DSC live with us full-time and call me by my first name. It was really important to me to be called mummy (well, an equivalent, actually, but same idea). Do you know, she is almost 4 now and it has never been a problem at all? I used mummy, DH used mummy, and I made a point of asking the DSC to use it and they have (not to me themselves, I mean, but when speaking to DD about me as in "give the ball to mummy" - they still call me by name when speaking directly to me/not to DD).
I suppose you'd have a problem if you had DSC deliberately (out of confusion or out of obstinance) trying to get your baby to use your name, but otherwise I think you will find that it just naturally comes in. Don't worry!
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