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Happy mothers day :0(

(12 Posts)
Beccawoo Sun 30-Mar-14 10:58:06

Want to cry looking at all the cutsie fb messages of breakfast in bed and flowers. Didn't even get a card :0(

No idea why not, (kids are 2 and 4, exh left 2 yrs ago) Surely he knows it is his job to go buy a card for them to give me?! He did the last two years? Although weirdly at Christmas I got a card to me and new DP from him and ow, rather than a to mummy from kids one! Isn't that weird? They are not my friends and I will not be sending Xmas cards to them, but will always get him one from the kids. Am I to assume that as DP and I just moved in together that Exh has decided it is now his job to get me cards from the kids for all occasions? I certainly hope ow isn't taking them out to get daddy cards for him, that's my job as their mother?!

Anyway, sorry, just having a rant and feeling a bit sad and unappreciated this morning :0(
Happy mothers day to all you mummies. Xx

Russianfudge Sun 30-Mar-14 11:18:40

Sorry you're having a shit time Becca sad

For what it's worth, my ex does get a card from dd for me. But if he didn't my do would do it. Maybe you could talk to your dp about how it has upset you this year and ask if next year he would do the honours?

I know my friends who are with their kids dad's get more of a fuss than me but it really is just one day. Please don't get too sad. Soon enough they'll. be old enough to get their owns gifts and cards with pocket money.

As for his new partner buying for their dad on their behalf, maybe text her to heck what she's planning to avoid a mix up? I used to get fathers day stuff for my step daughter to give to her dad because mum wouldn't have bothered and I didnt want him to feel like you do today sad


Beccawoo Sun 30-Mar-14 11:40:35

Thanks Russian. I think dp definitely knows that's next year it will be down to him, I think we just both thought this year that exh would but me a card from the kids as always, and DP gets one for his ds to give his mum.

As for texting the new partner - no chance there, I'm afraid I have no relationship or contact with her at all and that is the way I prefer it. Appreciate she is part of my kids life but no need for her to be part of mine when she is the one who helped to mess it up so royally, while I was preg! I will just continue to let dcs chose cats for their dad and take them with them until they are old enough with pocket money to do it themselves.
Thanks for the flowers ;-)

Beccawoo Sun 30-Mar-14 11:42:19

*cards, not cats lol! Although interesting idea there...

purpleroses Sun 30-Mar-14 14:02:03

Happy Mothers Day!

I would guess your ex probably does think that now you have a DP he will help the kids sort you out a card or present. A lot of people do do it that way.

MrsExtraOrdinary Sun 30-Mar-14 17:41:09

My xh has been my xh for quite a long time now. He had our 4dc for the wkd so I hadn't seen them at all today until 5. Spent the day with my littlest ds and my dh, who have made an effort for me which has been lovely.

Older 4dc walk in and go er is it muffers day?? Well dad said to tell you that granny bought you this plant. It's not really from us. Not his mother my mother. Love her she always does make an effort for me because she knows my xh and 4dc will say or do something hurtful. And on cue I have cried because there was no need to be nasty.

I haven't seen my eldest son all day as he has hosp in London tomorrow. He's staying with my mum tonight. He hasn't phoned.

I'm always hurt by it but I'm thankful I had a nice day with my littlest until they came home. Dd is now feeling a bit bad she relayed her dads nastiness.

I don't know the answer but I live in hope one day my dc will realise as much as their dad loves them he is a spiteful arse and to think for themselves and bother about others.

Kaluki Tue 01-Apr-14 22:36:18

My mum and my ex help my kids sort out my presents and card between them. I'm really lucky.
But as usual I got bugger all from the dsc. I thought dp might have done something but nothing!
I'm good enough to cook and clean up after them but not worth thanking for it sad angry

MrsExtraOrdinary Wed 02-Apr-14 07:27:49

My step children have never bothered with me either. Even dss who has lived with us for 4 years. He didn't even say happy Mother's Day. In previous years they've taken pride in telling me I'm not their mother. Dh used to try to encourage them to be kinder but I think we've all got fed with trying so hard. I'm hoping when they have dc of their own it will be an easier relationship.

Kaluki Wed 02-Apr-14 10:29:22

Well it just makes me think "bollocks to it all"
Why should I put myself out all the time with no thanks or gratitude.
Back to detaching for me I think!!

Russianfudge Wed 02-Apr-14 11:02:59

I had quite an open conversation with my now 15 year old dsd about this the other day and I said I would have liked the odd acknowledgement that it was mother's day from her. Not a card and certainly not a gift or anything special, but a kind of thanks and a hug or something would have been nice. If anything, I told her, she would go out of her way to be particularly dismissive of me on Mother's Days, even ignoring the fact that DD had made me a nice card or something.

She explained that she felt too disloyal to her Mum to so much as be in my presence on mother's day and that had her mum got wind that she had made any reference to my "motherly role" she would have "lost it" so she just didn't. Bit of an aside to the OP - sorry! Just responding to Kaluki

Ghirly Wed 02-Apr-14 13:48:47

Sorry you felt so bad on Mother's Day. My ex doesn't bother either but I'm lucky in that my eldest is 23 and organises cards and presents.

I sent a card to the step mum via my ex and I also sent her a fb message thanking her for everything that she does because I genuinely appreciate it.
My ex never even bothered when we were together as he "doesn't believe in all that crap" and it does upset me although I'm used to it now. As a result, I don't buy him Fathers Day cards but I do pass on the card the 8 yr old makes at school.

I have a 3yr old too but nothing is said or acknowledged - I'm fine with that as I split up with her dad before I found out I was pregnant therefore our 'relationship' isn't great.

debbs77 Sun 06-Apr-14 00:04:29

My exH has never sorted the kids out with cards, even when I was single. My fiancé did Mother's Day stuff for all my children for me.

He also took his other two children out to get cards and a small gift each for their mum. Her reaction? "It's only a normal day, why bother"

I think that in a lot of ways it is more about the children. They WANT to give mummy something and that's lovely x

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