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How do you pay CM?

(48 Posts)
stepmooster Sun 02-Mar-14 08:27:29

I have no idea what is normal, but we (joint account) remit funds to the ex wife by standing order on the 1st of every month. For the last 2 months the 1st has fallen on a weekend and the banks remit the money on the Monday afterwards. The ex wife is not happy with this arrangement and wants the CM to be paid into her account on the 1st of each month. I am not sure how this is possible? DH has offered to send cheques instead, but the ex wife says that it would take longer for the money to get into her account.

DH and I both get paid on the 27th of each month, we have all our direct debits and standing orders going out on the 1st of each month, we don't really want to change it. If we change it to another date, then at some point that will fall on a weekend, and the only other option is to try and remember to remit funds each month in time for the 1st, but honestly there is more potential for this to get delayed if for instance one of us forgets its the last banking day before the 1st or something.

CM has been paid to the ex by standing order for 5 years, this is the first time it has become an issue. For those of you who have private CM arrangements not throught the CSA how do you pay the ex? and have you ever had this issue before and what did you do to resolve it?

MaryPoppinsCarpetBag Sun 02-Mar-14 08:34:36

My exH does mine as a bank transfer on the day he gets paid. This way if payday falls on Sunday he'd get paid on the Friday before and I would also get the money that day instead of waiting til Monday.

DP pays exW by standing order and no complaints from her if it's paid slightly late due to weekends or BH.

wannabestressfree Sun 02-Mar-14 08:34:47

Pay on the 27th when you get paid

stepmooster Sun 02-Mar-14 08:37:28

yes but sometimes we dont get paid on the 27th if its a weekend, either friday (if 27th sat) or Monday (if 27th Sunday). Thats why we do the 1st, to allow for Februarys.

stepmooster Sun 02-Mar-14 08:39:28

MaryPoppins do you know if it is that something your exH arranges each month or that he arranged with the bank for each month, meaning no chance to forget?

I appreciate you might not know.

MaryPoppinsCarpetBag Sun 02-Mar-14 08:49:26

He does it himself. If he forgets, I remind him smile

stepmooster Sun 02-Mar-14 08:52:02

ha ha ha, I have to be honest i think my DH would need reminding, which is probably going to be more aggro for the ex wife! We shall have to speak to the bank, or possibly see if we can agree with the ex that the money has to be in her account by the 3rd each month. So it can always be earlier but never later, and she can plan accordingly.

wannabestressfree Sun 02-Mar-14 08:57:17

My ex husband sends it himself on the 1st and he works abroad. The money is always there I have to say. Might be the more sensible route

Petal02 Sun 02-Mar-14 08:58:32

This sounds like nit picking to me. If you're paying by standing order, which means you can't forget to pay, then it will always be delayed occasionally due to weekends. It is really the end of the world?

stepmooster Sun 02-Mar-14 08:58:50

does it show in your account on the 1st or before if it is a weekend? We shall see if the bank will remit funds on a saturday or Sunday, I didnt think they did?

stepmooster Sun 02-Mar-14 09:01:25

Petal02 part of me does wonder, but we have just had 2 1st's of the month on a weekend. Maybe money is tight, but still part of me thinks if payday falls on a Sunday for us (we work at the same place) then we have to wait until Monday.

The less aggravation that DSS gets put through the better.

wannabestressfree Sun 02-Mar-14 09:03:42

He does it on the 1st and it shows straight away (he did it yesterday) and we are different banks. Trust me he wouldn't pay a minute before the 1st smile but he hasn't missed the actual day yet

17leftfeet Sun 02-Mar-14 09:05:38

My ex pays me on the 5th by standing order

No idea why the 5th, it's a pain in the arse as my bills go out on the 1st and he gets paid on the last Thursday of the month

But it's taken me 3 years to actually get him to pay so I'm not going to complain

Petal02 Sun 02-Mar-14 09:07:46

Like another posted suggested, you could do a bank transfer as soon as you get paid, but if you forget, or it's December with lots of lost banking days near the end of the month, then she's likely to get the money even later. I'd stick with your present arrangements if I were you.

TheGirlFromIpanema Sun 02-Mar-14 09:09:07

It is usual for wages to be paid on the working day before rather than after a weekend though. Same for tax credits/other benefits.

Direct debits and standing orders will usually default to after a weekend.

You may be putting her in a position where the money coming in after the weekend means she has little or no leeway built in to pay her own bills etc?

Fwiw CSA payments will also arrive before rather than after a weekend if the date of usual payment falls on a bank holiday - they are 4 weekly though and so never due at a weekend. (Mine arrive on a Friday)

Petal02 Sun 02-Mar-14 09:12:48

But if you we're going to pay on that basis (in Thegirlfrom's post) you'd need to change the date most months.

FunkyBarnYard Sun 02-Mar-14 09:17:08

Can't you log into internet banking on the first and do a direct transfer. Takes two hours usually to hit the other account.

Petal02 Sun 02-Mar-14 09:20:13

Funky, yes that's an option - but you need to remember to do that, which I think was the OP's point!

TheGirlFromIpanema Sun 02-Mar-14 09:23:34

Op have you thought about setting up a standing order for last day of the month?
That would default to last working day and would maybe solve the issue?

TheGirlFromIpanema Sun 02-Mar-14 09:24:53

In fact, re reading your posts, it would solve the issue smile

Your dh gets paid on the 27th so last working day will always be after that but before a weekend.

stepmooster Sun 02-Mar-14 09:29:03

TheGirlFromIpanema If we change teh date for the 28th of each month, if the 28th of February falls on a Sunday, will it take the money on the 26th or the 1st?

FrogbyAnotherName Sun 02-Mar-14 09:31:56

Fwiw CSA payments will also arrive before rather than after a weekend if the date of usual payment falls on a bank holiday - they are 4 weekly though and so never due at a weekend. (Mine arrive on a Friday)

You have a regular day?!?

My ex pays the CSA via salary deduction and it can takes weeks for the payments to reach me - its not unusual to be two or even three months behind!

TheGirlFromIpanema Sun 02-Mar-14 09:32:44

Its not 28th though stepmooster, its usually last working day - so in your example it would go on the 26th - but then you'd be paid on the 26th too.

So possibly once a year you would be in the situation the ex finds herself in every time a month ends at the weekend.

Your wages are more of a certainty to you than her cm is to her though - for the sake of peace and harmony I'd adjust it smile

TheGirlFromIpanema Sun 02-Mar-14 09:34:56

Frog mine is deducted at source by attachment. After 10 years of non payment it means I now receive cm like clockwork.

<<he is employed by a big employer so no issue with the employer not complying either>>

FunkyBarnYard Sun 02-Mar-14 09:37:04

How hard can it be to remember?

I would consider taking the annual sum dividing by 13 and paying 4 weekly on a certain day.

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