My DH is waiting for a court date for an initial hearing following the DSC Mums application to discharge the contact order. It is expected to be the week before Xmas. DSS is currently refusing to come for court ordered contact but is happy to see DH at school and on trips/meals out.
I have absolutely no idea what to do/think/plan for Christmas. The plan (before the latest issues) was that DSS (10) would be with us for a few days before Xmas, and come back for New Year, along with my DD (12), and DSD (16) would spend some time with us during that period, too.
Now, I have no idea what is going to happen. My DD's Dad has asked that DD doesn't spend time with DSS until things have settled down again (to protect her from the repeated emotional rejection of the DSC refusing contact at the last minute and to avoid her being caught up in any more of DSS allegations) - and I have to say I agree with him. DH has agreed with that and made it clear to the DSC Mum that is the case. She isn't happy about that as she thinks he's putting my DD before his own DC's. DSS has been told that "I won't let him" be here when DD is - although the reality is that if he does come and stay while DD is here, I'll ask DD's Dad if she can spend a few extra days there. I don't want to mess her around though - she's got a schedule that works.
So, we might have no DC's, or DSC might suddenly decide they want to come after all, or they might expect DH to take them out - I have no clue. If it's just the two of us on Xmas Day, we'll have a very low-key christmas; we've not got any spare cash so wouldn't bother with a special meal or anything. But if the DSC suddenly decide to come, then I think we ought to do something to acknowledge Christmas - otherwise, it's going to make things worse, surely? And what if they decide they want to be here when DD is?
It would just be good to know - it's the only time I get off work all year (I'm self employed) and I don't really want to spend the week on tenderhooks, half expecting that call saying that DSD has had a row with her Mum and wants to come round, or DSS has decided he wants to see his Dad and will be distraught if he doesn't see him soon. I want to enjoy my time with DD, not be worrying if she'll be going to her Dads suddenly because the DSC want to be here. If DH refuses a visit/contact over Christmas, even if it asked for at the last minute, it will not look good in court - he's going to have to agree to see the DSC at their (or their Mums) behest.
I appreciate it's a crap situation for the DSC to be in - and I guess I should just put on my big-girls panties and accept that this is how things are - but I'm at the limit of my resilience after the last few weeks, and now I've got this hanging over Christmas, which I have been looking forward to for months cos frankly, I need a rest.
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Stepmum Advice needed re: Christmas
33 replies
AliceinWonderhell · 11/11/2013 12:05
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