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bonus mums and step mums

(5 Posts)
flowerpotgirl12 Sun 10-Nov-13 12:08:54

hi all, just a question of what is the difference between a bonus mum and step mum ?

needaholidaynow Sun 10-Nov-13 12:43:58

Oh I really don't know. I think it's just people's different ways of viewing someone's role in a child's life. I don't like the term bonus mum to be honest. I think it puts too much pressure in the stepmum.

I don't call myself either of them in RL. I'd NEVER refer to myself as a "bonus mum" anyway! I never used to call my mum's partner my stepdad and I never thought of myself as his stepdaughter. He was my mum's partner and I was his partner's daughter. On here I refer to my partner's daughter as DSD as its easier to type, but in real life we never call each other stepdaughter and stepmum, so on passing a friend in the street for example, I would introduce DsD as my partner's daughter.

flowerpotgirl12 Sun 10-Nov-13 13:04:16

I'm the same with my dsc in rl but I'm not married to dp and only been in kids life for 1.5 years. so I refer to them as partners children. However I do call my stepmum that in rl but she's been in my life for 21 years

needaholidaynow Sun 10-Nov-13 13:31:45

That's understandable flowerpot. Everyone has their own preferences. smile I'm happy playing a friend role in DSD's life and I hope I can keep it that way for years to come, rather than a motherly role.

Kyrptonite Sun 10-Nov-13 13:50:35

I say I'm DSDs step mum as her mum walked out when she was 4 months old and it was me and DP doing night feeds, immunisations, nursery visits whilst her mum did one afternoon a week if she felt like it.
DSD returned to her mum age 3 but I still refer to her as my stepdaughter because that's what she is. Her mum doesn't like it but after what we went through I don't give a shit tbh (there's a lot of history here). I did everything a mum does for DSD and still do. Just because I didn't give birth to her I don't like the idea of being relegated to dads girlfriend. DSD can refer to me however she likes btw and I don't let her know of my feelings towards her mum.

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